Wednesday, November 30, 2005

my life rating

Found out about this thingy from joyce. And I attempted it.

This Is My Life, Rated
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

... and I think it really does reflect my life quite well. Haha gotta do sth about the love portion of my life!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Preparations for the trip to brunei

Pre flight briefing:

"bee hives are fairly common in the jungle, so do not disturb them"

"while crossing the river, make sure u hold onto something, in case e current drags u away"

"be careful of snakes, tread carefully" shit!

"when walking near rivers, be wary of crocodiles" double shit!

"might drink from river streams. try to black tape ur water bottles. u wont fear what u can't see" wth.. as if I'll drink water with foreign objects in it.

"the bruneians ( is that how u spell? ) hahaha seems so wrong. Lazy to check the dict. ... might challenge u.. climb mountain.." I'm dead..

Heck! Whatever comes, comes. Shall see it there.

On my way home today, I met Yao Ming and Amanda! Haha ym still looks the same. Yandao kia. Heh and manda seems pretty fine. I met them separately. First was ym, then we spoke for awhile. Just some small talk, but yea it felt nice to meet an old fren. Then I met manda in 969! but too bad, we were separated by the crowd. In the end, we msged each other during the trip.. pretty fun. So near, yet so far!

Meeting ur old friends can be quite nice. Dunno how to describe. But it's, nice. =)

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Getting a new mp3 player

Am going to get a new mp3 player. A 512mb flash based version. This's for the brunei trip.. shit, really hope I can get back from there in gd shape. I really want to enjoy my trip to genting! Don't wanna come back with foot rot, scratches, cuts, and worse, some disease.. But 3d2n navigating in the jungle.. how to avoid all these??

We even have to get sand flies net. Imagine this, at night while sleeping, we have to cover our heads with this net.. It's lk putting a total hood over my head, it covers just the head alone. Looks lk shit. But I'll take photos. cos camera phones are allowed.

Hmmm, I wanna watch Saw2 too.. It's really thought provoking u know. How far would you go to keep ur life? Would u betray your friends? Would you lose an eye, a limb? Just to stay alive..

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

20th Birthday

Finally, the big 20.

What have I achieved so far? Almost nothing noteworthy.. I want to do something big. But I lack the determination and the drive. So, just slack first lor. But I'll definitely make it big somehow. Big as in maybe doing something really helpful to others and getting really successful in my studies and career. Not now. But I promise myself it'll be done soon enough.

But these past years, I've learnt how to protect myself. How to stop others from taking advantage of me. I've learnt how to say No. How to stand up to someone. All these don't come naturally to me though. I remembered how I just couldn't say no to my friends when they needed something, but I needed that same thing too, and got scolded because I told teacher I didn't bring the stuff.

Also, I've learnt how to listen selectively. Things that you don't put to heart, you won't mind.

Besides, I've also learnt how to really differentiate the good friends from hi-bye kinda friends. I mean, you can really talk alot to this person, but that doesn't mean that this particular friend will be a true friend. Friendship is a big part of my life. But I don't mind having just a few true friends. Afterall, I'm myself, for most parts, the kind of hi-bye friend to others. The more effort I see my friends putting in to keep in touch with me, the more I'll treasure them.

Having said all these, it's really important for me not to lose my way in life. I want to remain being myself. I don't want to become selfisfh, nor do I want to become this fake person who goes around trying to make others like me. If I don't feel comfortable lending a person something, I'll try not to lend in future. Right now, I still can't really say no and then feel gd. It's always been uncomfortable for me to reject someone. In short, I want to be frank to others. I never did like fake people. And I really hope I won't become one. Cos, sometimes, I feel like I'm really fake. haha.. but luckily, it's quite rare..

Well, lets hope things go smoothly for me! Adulthood? Bring it on man!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Shallow talk.

Shit, I'm turning into a tan-o-phile. All bloody Joe's fault. Keep jio-ing me to go swim.

What's up with tanning? It's like the in thing now. I go to the pool, and I see all these girls trying to look pretty in their bikinis. They don't swim. The most they do is just go under the surface and blow bubbles.

Joe, you keep staring at those girls like they're miss universe material. Cmon, put ur glasses on, and you'll know why I prefer to just close my eyes when I'm at the jacuzzi. Heh, yes, I wear contacts while swimming. Saves me so much trouble. Cos my goggles don't have to be degree-ed! hahah... but seriously my contacts' main task, is to help me look at the sights around the pool when I feel lk it. =)))

P.s. Pearl, your blog is so damn refreshing! Haha I like the way u said 'but huala, after class, the tcher disappeared' huala?? hahaha

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Infuriating. But I can never be angry at girls for long. Haha

Sunday, November 13, 2005


What's wrong with them? Any damn problems you have with my attitude, just tell it straight to my face. I'm not obliged to behave in a way they deem fit. I'm myself. I voice out my displeasure. If you don't like it then just back off. What's wrong with not accepting some tasks and jobs? WHAT'S WRONG? I'm actually being fair here. Being fair to myself is also being fair. There is no reason why I should do something when others are already qualified enough to do it. What is fairness if they keep expecting me to burn weekends cos I started out late? Pls.. there're others who started out later than me, yet even if they get weekend stuff, they still go back earlier. Is this fair?

Talking behind my back. Now that usually won't affect me, but I thought they were my friends. This totally suck. But it's ok. We're friends no more now. Just colleagues.

Plus, I know you tried to tekang me. In the end, it backfired. I didn't try to avoid the sweep. It just happens that you didn't have the brains to sabo me. Too bad..

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Swim, Tan, Look.

Went to safra wanting to swim. But pool was too crowded. Instead me and joe went straight to the jacuzzi part of the pool. Boy, I saw some babes. Saw this girl in yellow bikini just sitting by the pool side. She seemed alone. I thought she was waiting to be picked up! Yea, as expected, she was chatted up by this guy who swam beside her. I thought this guy was gonna succeed, but nah, she kept to herself after awhile.

Nope. I don't have the guts. That guy had balls.

Got myself a pretty even tan.

Sunday, November 06, 2005


Ok, removed the link. So I won't be tempted to go look.

Also, I removed Xian's addy. It's a dead link.

Lucky me.

I think I'm lucky. Really.

Was walking to the bus stop last night. Had to book in to camp cos of the sweep this morning. Imagine my mood, booking in on a saturday night. So it was already bad enough for me to be going back to camp alone.. then of all things I had to see them. It's lk really shitty. What do you do to this person?

Ignore? I couldn't. Haven't seen her since ages..
Smile? Are you nuts? It's so bloody difficult. Anyway if I smiled, it would be so fake.

So I bit my lips and just sort of gave her a half wave and then get tha freaking hell out of there.. feeling shittier with each step I take. Cmon, I was practically trying to fly out there..

The look I saw on her face. It seems lk she's trying to see whether I'm gonna break down or cry just there. She looked worried. Worried about what? I dunno man...

God, I'm really getting shit these days.

Sera! See ya soon! I want go drink man...

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Oh well...

Might as well be ok with going for the sweep. It sucks. But if I don't go, who will? Haha. Those bloody pple who took commitments on sunday.. After I get my 7k mileage.. It's my turn.

MAs, MCs, here I come!

Friday, November 04, 2005

My life.

Lost my girlfriend. Check.

Got over it. Check.

I thought things were gonna get better.


Last month. October 2005. 5 weekends.

I burnt 4 on army duties.

This month. November 2005. 4 weekends.

Comfirmed burnt. At least 3 weekends.

PLUS, A WHOLE BLOODY WEEK OF EXERCISE. ( Waking up at fuked up hours, doing shity stuff )

Next month. December 2005.

Going to Brunei. Not a holiday.

It doesn't end!


Fuck you.

Very much.

See? This is why army guys lose their gf. Fuck. You want me to go citylink to fetch you after ur work, I'm fine. You want me to walk to ur working place frm there. I'm fine too. But when I say I'm tired, and I still make a trip to citylink, I just want you to walk over to the station, you feel sth is wrong. Wth.

When I ask to stay at home on weekends. You feel bored. But we went out alot too. See how many fucking weekends I spend in camp? Is it any wonder I love my home so much?

You said we quarrelled alot. Did we? I always tried to give in to you. Didn't I? Did I ever shout at you? I think your definition of a 'quarrel' is 'when *** **** feels sad'.

Fuck it. No one understands.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Exam Stress! hahaz

Was chatting to sera yesterday. Told me that she's worried about her As. And I seriously cant do anything about it.. haha how do u tell someone not to worry about it? It's impossible not to worry about exams. Even gd students get worried too. What makes it more worrying in sera's case is that she lacks confidence. Same as my brother!

I remembered how I used to have ill-founded confidence. I did not study hard, but then I still had the confidence that I could make it through. I wasn't all that prepared, the thing that gave me confidence at that time was cos I kept studying, kept trying to squeeze all the shit into my head. This is not studying hard. This is cramming. Mugging. AND I knew I probably couldn't study any harder during the last few months before the As. So I did my best to mug. It gave me confidence.

A few weeks passed....

Went into the exam hall, saw all these people, some worried, some relaxed, most were joking. Me? I could still breathe. I just wanted this thing to end. Especially the econs papers. A few hours later, I'm back home mugging for the next day's papers. Doesn't really sound scary.. so I have no idea why some people freak out at exams. My mugging did help me deal with the qns. And I guess I truly gave it my all.. considering how late I started preparing..

So my pt is, just go study now. People like sera, pearl, yibin and my brother. Mug!