Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Planning or fantasizing?

Sometimes, when you are planning something (it could be a trip out or maybe just a simple dinner), and you really put your heart into it. Is it truly planning or fantasizing?

Getting the settings right, the perfect place to go to, which clothes to wear, what to say and do. This is planning right? Or is it just fantasizing? Cos nothing has ever worked out right for me. Haha.. when I plan a beautiful day out, it never seems to feel that way. Yes, it might be enjoyable but it's never the same as what I had envisioned. Did my expectations spoil my day?

I have a quirk. I compare my fantasies to reality. When I can't have something or maybe even someone. I fantasize about those hard-to-get gadgets, unrealised relationships, and so on. I do this throughout the day. So that's why I'm dreamy at times. Then when something in real life comes along, and it sort of mirrors my fantasies, I get nervous but easily disappointed too.

I compare my dreams to reality. And that's where everything goes wrong. Beautiful dreams never get ugly. Reality does. I can plan and fantasize all day, but on that day, it becomes ordinary when compared to my fantasy.

I feel compelled to act out my dreams. Haha.. ya it's true. On those few dates out, I've always fantasized and acted it out in my mind long before the date happened. But I'm often disappointed maybe cos I'm really stressed out. I try to keep reality parallel to my dreams. It just doesn't work. Haha I have no idea what I'm writing about now. Getting nowhere..

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Real Sorry to You

I'm seriously sorry to ya. You know who you are. But I really thought that it was pretty funny at that time. It was just a joke u know? Erm, and don't worry, I've deleted it. No harm done right? As for that thousand word apology. It's hard. And what do you want to do with a letter anyway?

See? This apology is public, so it's really sincere ok. Forgive me and please don't take it heart.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


Sad. Life shouldn't be like this.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Oak Tree Poem

Once there was this little Sapling,
waiting to grow big and strong.
But it waited and waited,
for Mr Sunny and Ms Rainy never did come,
so it shriveled
an Oak Tree Sapling.

Clara? Here's your oak tree poem. Too bad I couldn't get it to live past long enough to have something to write about. Haha, and there's no need to feel guilty about what you did. You did nothing wrong..

Wow, I'm praying hard actually.. I hope I'll be free this Sat! Please, no sweeps or details! I want my Saturday to be free!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Swim then movie with friends

went for swim alone cos wai hong pang seh me.. but it's ok.. cos in future we'll go tgt.. u promised bro. haha..

then i kinda rushed to bishan cos i didn't wanna buy clara cookies. absolute waste of my money. haha turns out tt shu e and her were late too.

So with jw, waihong and those 2 girls, we went to watch hinokio. a nice show, a little thought provoking. I love that female lead man.. so cute.. so spunky.. my kinda girl! and clara pls open ur eyes.. she's a girl ok!

then went to sakae, had fun talking with them. but i think i went overboard with wai hong.. sorry ya? haha i think i got drunk on green tea. so was a little high. tell u la, u are a damn gd bro.. really.. if any girls dunno how to appreciate u, tell me! i'll knock some sense into them.. haha! right? Future Roomey?? not rooney! not tt ugly footballer..

mmm.. ok i guess i wont poke my nose into anything anymore. hav a gd night people. sweet dreams. i hope i hav one too..
Mmmm.. wondering if I should keep this blog public. Beginning to care about what I write in here.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Missing you..

That day. The letter I wrote during field camp. And got ben to mail it to you.

A little silly. Used my torch to write this letter while I was under the tent.

Words became harder to write cos it was too dark.

Every word I really wanted to get through. So primitive, but real happy when I knew ben could get it posted for me.

Miss those days..

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Ajc as seen from Google Earth


Great! Love this program..

Joyce: Here's Ajc! ( cloudy, that's y photo wasn't tt great ) haha am I a gd cousin? Quick, say it! Ajc is in my blood man, cos I have 3 cousins who have studied in Aj at one point or another and of cos that's including myself.

Google Earth!

Cool?? Yea it's the Himalayas.. Looks like some kinda leaf right?? Got this screenshot from a program called Google Earth. I tell you, I'm loving this program day by day... Need something local?

Nah! Here's our very own city area. Need some more pics? Haha tagboard me any location on earth and I'll try my best to find it. For a fee, of cos... hahaha ( a treat la!)

Today's the end of my block off period.. quite sad.. cos it means I have to go straight back to hell again tonight. And can Somebody pls stop thinking that I'm very slack? You know who u are! haha Cos I'm really not. This period of time is more lk a lull period for my unit. But come xmas, new yr, Cny.. it's going to get crazy pretty soon enough.

Luckily I'm taking leave on xmas ( going to Genting with friends! ). Hehz please ok, those whom I've already asked to go, try tell me asap whthr u guys can make it or not. I've been thinking about some nice games we can play.. hehz you know.. guys, gals, some food, some drinks.. in a hotel room.. haha Games Galore! Use ur imagination people!

Oh it's only September.. cant believe I'm already dreaming about this xmas. k, let's hope it'll be a fun trip for us all.

Headache. Unlimited wants and desires. (thks Mr Choy for teaching me such terms) But I never did pay attention to your classes anyway. BoOr-ing! How? First I read about the Ipod Nano, then my heli battery seems to be going south, and at the same time, I'm also going crazy over rc airplanes. God.. give me strength to resist it all..

K, now I wanna write about some matters of the heart:

You've told me that we'll avoid contact for now, and I accept it, cos it'll be a gd thing for us to do. Life for you I think will be pretty busy from now on. Just take gd care of urself. I dunno what might happen in the future, but right now, I still care, I think. Just that I don't think it can be called love on my part anymore. I think love is subjective, infatuation at its highest point might feel like love to some. For me, I think I can understand a little bit more.

Love doesn't come to you in the beginning of a relationship. It's only after you get into a relationship, learn to cherish and be totally unselfish towards each other, then this liking can truly blossom into love. Another thing that I've come to realise is that love needs constant nurturing and 'maintainence'. You can't say you love her, then expect her to understand how u feel. You need to express it in other ways. Love can die you know.. without any input, never ever think that this girl or guy who may have liked u alot in the past will continue to do so in future. It's like growing a flower. No water? Simple.. no flowers for you!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Doesn't this strike a chord...?

when a GUY sms
a girl
he expects her to reply.

when a GUY calls her everyday,
he wants to hear her voice.

when a GUY is quiet,
he is tired of loving her but yet dunoe if

when a GUY looks at her with eyes full of
he is wondering if she loves him.

when a GUY says "I'm fine" after a few
he is not fine at all.
(bloody true...!)

when a GUY stares at her,
he is thinking what if only he can have her.

when a GUY lies on her shoulder,
he is hoping time would stop forever.

when a GUY wants to see her everyday,
he misses her.

when a GUY says "I love you",
he actually means it.

when a GUY says he can't live without you,
he means if you die, he will die. (this one, I don't believe)

when a GUY says "I miss you",
he really misses her.


Quite disappointed with the way things have turned out for my block off period. I actually wanted to have fun these few days. But it turns out that there's nothing much for me to do cos everyone's not free..

So I'm at home, trying to keep myself busy. Turns out tt some of my camp mates who're also at home jio-ed me to play dota. Haha But I still suck at it.. Kept dying!!

Hmmm.. I've been thinking, what makes you want to buy an Ipod nano even though you might already have an mp3 player. God, I've already spend alot on mp3 players. Now, along comes this Ipod nano. It's really damn nice man. I especially like the piano black version.

THE Ipod Nano

Well let's see how it goes first.. I might not want it after a few more weeks of consideration and reconsideration. Haha..

Hmmm someone said to disturb me after her exams.. Hahah, so make sure you disturb me after your exams! I'm sick. I like being disturbed. =)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

AHM! And this sweet gift from Clara ;>

See This?? Ran really hard to get the medal. Ran the 21.1km in 2:24 Hr.. God it seems like forever when you run. But it was ok when I was running. The pain only came after I completed the run. My left knee hurts.. haha eh, ya that's all. BUT, I cant walk properly now, cos it really hurts la! Many thanks to Jun Yan who kept pushing me on. And his lousy calculations of our timing, cos he kept me thinking that we were only 10 min ahead of the required time. For god's sake, I think we were lk 50 mins ahead of time! And so we ran and ran. Haha you know what kept me going on?? I wanted this medal so very badly, cos I've never ran a half marathon before. So I wanted something to show for it. Oh and there were quite a few girls who ran 21km too... haha it's an ego thing. You simply can't stop in front of those girls.. gonna show them what I'm made of! Hahaz Feeling tired and lazy now...

Front of medal

Back of medal

Oh and a little gift from Clara..

Hahaha What do you want me to do with this?? I thought it was a fancy matchbox lor... Dun pollute my mind ok? I'm like this oh-so-innocent kinda guy. Hahaz!

Friday, September 09, 2005

Life is unfair.

Ya... And you better believe it.

An unfortunate man is one who wants to fart, but shits instead.

-hahha got it frm the LeScrap Book.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Ippt silver and F***ed up planning

Got Ippt silver today. Anyway I think I was pretty lucky to get it. Haven't even been training.

Anyway i just reach home and then I found out tt I must set off for camp again in lk 45 mins! wth.. i thought they gave me about 3 hrs at home. wasted my trip home.

P.s. Study hard for those having exams. Get well for those who are unwell. Plan to play hard for those bored pple. And for those still discovering themselves, it's natural la! Right bOon??

Bye! Gotta Fly. This bloody camp..

Monday, September 05, 2005

Unit Bowling Day & overseas leave

Ok, just came home after bowling at Marina South. Was fun but quite subdued. Anyway the best part is that I'm home earlier!

Anyway, someone owes me an answer to a question. Actually this question is not difficult to answer when taken at face value. It's only difficult if you keep thinking of other things. It's only tough to answer when the mind is uncertain. But I need an answer soon. It's only right for me to have it, I think.

Also, I have applied for overseas leave on the 24th Dec to 27 Dec, so the grp of 5 guys, you better go apply soon man! Don't waste my leave ok. As for destination, we can go to Malaysia la, haha jw dunwan go Thailand.. besides M'sia is cheaper. Cruise, Genting, Penang, KL anything la! OK or not?

Wah sianz... nth to do now. So waiting for the weekends to come again. Haha AHM (Army Half Marathon) on this Sunday. Who wanna run with me?? 21km.. come, feel free to join me man.

Haha jw, I'm free on Sat but up till around 7pm only. Cos have to go back to camp. As for this Sunday, sorry it's full! hahah try again.. ;>

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Today passed quicky..

How nice if everyday could be lk today. =)

Woke up at 1+pm today... hahah didn't go for my run. Shit. I'll run again next time. Then facai came to my home together with my auntie and her little daughter. He loves my toes! haha yea, lick it all u want caicai.

Then I went out to meet sera, and I enjoyed myself. Haha I think we talked non-stop throughout. Cept when you had to study. Okok gotta go slp now. Dad is nagging. Cant write much tonight. But Fries with Chillli taste gd!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Felt lk shit, but along came this angel

Do you know how it feels when something smacks you right in the face? Like a fishmonger slapping you with his biggest fish on sale. The bloody stench, the pain, and the awakening to reality. That sorta happened to me yesterday night. Reality bites.

So I went to camp in a damn bloody mood. Booking in again. Made it a doubly bloody night for me.

But really couldn't tahan anymore in camp so I had to talk to someone. And this person was real sweet. Haha.. sometimes you can give advice to others, but when it comes to yourself, you simply throw all sensible thoughts away. It happens to me and this silly girl too! You obviously know what's wrong and how to tackle it.. just that it's hard, but of cos.

As for me, I have already decided on what to do. Let go of the past. Afterall, it sucks.. so why go on thinking and thinking right? No point la.. they don't care, so why the hell should I care? Care as in real concern. Not those kinda hI! Bye! type of bullshit. Bullshit can be nice, for the bare patch of land that is - it's only for growing grass. So I say cut all the bullshit.

Anyway, thk you for those comforting words ;)

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Project Superstar Craze

I hope Kelly wins! Haha look at her cute, chubby cheeks. Just feel lk biting them!

Anyway, this Sat I should be going out.. to pei someone study. Heh but of cos if we have the time, I feel lk watching March of the Penguins. Cos I read that the film maker actually went to Antarctica (not sure) to film it over a year. Basically, I think it's about a penguin's life and its family. Should be a great story.

Oh ya, Jw.. Thanks for teaching me how to play Dota! U were very patient with me man. You know why I'm suddenly so Onz about playing it? Cos my camp mates keep talking bout it! And then 1 day I wanna go play with them. Wah lao, but there's so much to learn. So complicated. You can definitely be a good teacher, bro! Haha next time we go find jobs as tutors la ok! I wanna teach those pui pui little kids. haha then can go pinch them. I have an obsession with pinching fat cheeks! => waohaohaha