Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I Remember

For a special Friend of mine. I made you a promise, and here is a poem about us.

I Remember,

meeting you when we were both 17.
Fresh out of secondary school,
We went to this place,
Which was home to us for the next 3 months.

You were one of the few,
and definitely one of my best,
and closest friend,
in this place named Nyjc.

Together in Pegasus,
we painted the hoardings,
with brushes and even our palms.
And walked away with the first prize too!

Those 3 days of my life,
I'll never forget them.
'Cos in those 3 short days,
I got to know this precious friend of mine.

Remember the times,
we had fun buying stuff,
for this bbq I organised?
When we went searching for things,
that we never knew were needed for a bbq!

And I still remember,
on one evening,
when we took a walk,
just the two of us,
from Woodlands interchange to this stadium nearby.
We just sat there,
and chatted the hours away.

Maybe you didn't know,
but I ignored the calls from mum.
'Cos I didn't want this day to end!

There are still so many things that I remember well.
Things that make me smile,
that will always bring warmth
and a certain sense of affection from me for you.

Hearing you cry over the phone,
on the eve of Valentine's Day,
my heart actually felt a lil something for you.
But I pretended that all was ok,
'cos I made a choice and stuck with it.

Looking back now,
and given another chance.
I would have done things
in quite different ways.

But all these memories,
shall stay with me.
And I hope that this friend,
whom I miss,
will feel the same way too.

Miss those days. Alot.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Good Day!

Went out today with 7 babes and dudes. Jw, Wai Hong, Hon Boon, ZhaoXian & his little bro, Clara and Shimin.

We went to ice skate at Jurong. It was quite fun cos I've not been there for quite awhile. I was thinking about keeping my butt off the ground at first. Hehz some others were not as lucky. Jw hurt his feet cos its either his skates giving him prob or he wasn't skating the right way. Anyway he had this big blister with lotsa blood on the sock.. oh man, it sure looks painful! haha!

Basically we went round after round. Haha but it's really fun la to have ur gd frens ard you.

My day haven't ended yet u know. So after dinner, we took this train back to yishun and then I bluejacked some poor guy or girl during the journey. I bluetoothed over this msg "Hi, Hello!" lk 4 times. Hahahaha I could hear the poor fellow's phone beeping away without knowing where the hell tt msg came frm. Coolz! I juz love doing such things.

Haha still with me? Then, after I reached home, I went out again. Cos I had to pass gp notes to Seraphine. Hope you'll use it well ok! It's really a great source to study frm for gp. Ok, so I sent her hm. Then it was when we were sitting down waiting for my bus hm tt i saw her feet, Haha! So small! 'Fortunate' Gal we have over here. hahaha Keep tt smile on ok =)

End of my day. Finally. Gonna go drool... zzZ

Friday, August 26, 2005

Trying to be Larger than life

Always looking for an escape. Us humans.

Beer. Outings. Chats. All these are simply attempts at escaping from something.

Went out with jw today. Chatted with him. And drank beer too. haha am I escaping from something? Boredom? And what causes this boredom from within?

No idea, dude. Really No idea at all.

Damn this boredom.

Oh, But tml shall be going out skating with friends. Hope it'll be better tml.

Here, Finally got my new specs. Showed this photo to someone and she siad i should trim down. =( haha i got a chubby face mah.. how to slim down??

Anyway looking at the photo, i think i look lk a zombie! look at the dark rings around the eyes. shit, should get more slp! anyway.. i lk my specs la.. =)))

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Crazy Spectacles experience!

hahaha.. today is the 2nd time i returned my new spectacles.

The 1st time i returned it was because the left side was underpowered by 100 degrees! I think this's the shop's fault. But they very gladly accepted back the specs to redo the lense.

The 2nd time, it was the right side which felt underpowered to me. Cos since my left side was corrected, the right side felt a little underpowered. So i sms-ed the shop owner, not expecting to really get a reply. I got a call instead from him! He apologised profusely and offered to retest my eyesight again. So off i went into his shop again. He was very nice about it. I think it was my fault this time cos when i first took the eyesight test i did it half heartedly. Now, after the 3rd test, he said he will change the lense for me again. Such a nice guy...

I would really recommend you pple to try out this spectacle shop. The service is great. The guy is really responsible. He told me he was sorry for my experience and that to him, the money i paid means that i was to be given the whole complete package, and not "u take it as it is".

This shop is Daniel Vision. His shop is at Yishun Central 1. Anyone wants to make one? haha


It's getting so boring in camp. Nothing much to do. But i guess it's up to me to motivate myself.. hmmm, nth much to write today. going back to camp later.
tk care fellows!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

To e Iceland at Bugis!

When we stepped in, I knew I wore the right footwear. Too bad for zz. haha

Remember Troy? The big wooden horse? Yea this's my ice horse =)))

Me atop an ice tower. Feels like glass!

A car, a pretty girl and me! haha 'cool' ride here.

Under the Taj Mahal.

ZZ under the Taj Mahal. Red riding hood. hahaha

ZZ with the Sleeping Buddha! On gd terms with each other ;)

Really had fun today. Was glad to finally go out and just relax. Thanks zz for ur wonderful company. Haha... took many many photos and then we went to Siam Kitchen for our dinner. Had a nice dinner.. Then we just chatted about relationships, gals, guys, and our very 'Clever' past. haha it's in the past! "peak at wrong time.." ;)

Friday, August 19, 2005

Cheering Up!

Shit, there goes my perfect pronunciation.

Had a good talk with John in camp yesterday. Was glad to have someone to talk to. We talked about basically 2 things. My ex. And Shawn. I didn't exactly agree with him on some pts, but it was heart warming nonetheless to have a friend who listens.

Hmmm, this Sunday will be for going out with zz. To the ice palace in Bugis. Haha to see ice sculptures! Will definitely take photos this time. Dunno why she wants to go there.. but after some internet searches about this exhibition, I'm itching to go too! Hope this day turns out fun for us.

Got off today. So I'm gonna go make new spectacles with jw later. Finally. Haha...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Feeling Sad...

I don't know whether it's me or what. But I feel sad. This aching feeling in the gut which goes right up to the throat. What's with me? another mood swing? haha.. all along I've always thought that only girls had mood swings. But it seems like i have mood swings now too. Maybe things are coming back, memories are hurting.

Flew my heli a few times today and it certainly helps to lighten my mood. I'm certainly growing up! From small little remote controlled cars to remote controlled helis. From a humble radio player, to cd player, to mp3 players. All these, however fancy and interesting cannot fill a void within me. Maybe i'm just splurging to make that pain go away. And it does help.. But only for a little while. I want something impossible now, but how to make the impossible possible? I know I can't. Yet, I still long for it. Acceptance is a way out, I know. Hmmm, I'm contradicting myself again. I feel acceptance, but at the same time, I want to relive the past. Haha hopeless...

7 swords

Wow, it was violent and i liked the fighting scenes. But other than that, there wasn't a strong plot behind this movie. No spectacular sceneries too! yea... and i got off for tml! hahaz finally have time to go do my own things.

Hmmm, perhaps things are getting better for me. The pain seems to have distanced itself quite a bit. I don't think too much now. Whatever comes, comes. Whatever goes, let it go. Acceptance can be liberating. When i accept this fact, it really makes my life easier. True, memories will always be there to bring up the past. But now, perhaps all I can think of are the wonderful memories. Yea, and I'll cherish these memories.

It's late. I should be sleeping. Wanna go out for a morning run tml. hahaz hope I'm disciplined enough to wake up early.

Monday, August 15, 2005

YES! haha my heli can fly again!

haha thks dad for getting me a new motor for my heli. I love my family alot actually. but they think i don't care, cos when i reach home i don't usually express my emotions. Well, i'm like this. i know i care. but i feel restrained when it comes to expressing my love for them. Perhaps this is also why i seem to fail at relationships. =(

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Actions vs Words

What are words if they're not backed up with actions?

I mean, I dislike people who say one thing and do another. But I equally dislike people who say something and then fail to make true their words. What is it with words that make us use it so liberally without realising the importance of what we say.

When we say something, we should do it. Haha, I admit I'm at fault too at times. But i want to change this bad habit of mine!

For eg.

"Hao! come eat your dinner! It's cold!"

"Ya OKOK! mum, wait awhile la! I using com."

Then I'll be using my com until 1hr later when I finally lift my butt off the chair.

This is minor, but it shows u what kind of a procrastinator I am! I use words to ward off my mum's incessant naggings. But that's not what my words mean to my mum. To my mum, she thinks that I'll go have my dinner soon. A bit of a betrayal of trust, don't u think.

SO people, make your words count for something. People who really care for you will be affected when you simply use words without thinking. Think about what you Will do when you say something. Words can please people. But they can hurt greatly too. =)

Created this site when I was in j2

Ajcsb SYF 2003

haha.. I guess I was pretty crazy in the past. Sigh, those were gd days of my life. These photos were taken during our Ajcsb SYF 2003. It really makes me wanna go back in time. =)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Chanced upon this controvesy - a pregnant woman ditched by bf

Tristefemme's blog

Above is the link to her blog. Please note, this is a cached page and it is not going to be updated. The woman in question has already deleted her original blog.

I have read through her blog, and from what i understand,
  1. She's a graduate from a US Uni with double degree.
  2. Her bf is a Captain in the SAF who received an SAF merit Scholarship.
  3. They had consensual sex, and she got pregnant.
  4. They were dating for about 8 months.
  5. Her bf broke up with her and told her he'll pay for child support.
  6. He no longer wanted to have anything to do with her.
People, please go to the link and read up on her blog. I pity her. Why is this guy not being responsible?? He's an army officer, what's more, he's a scholar too!

True, there might be two sides to a coin. But surely you will feel her pain when you go through her blog. It's just so painfully honest. That's my opinion. I believe her side of the story.

It makes me think about being in a relationship. You know, people usually say guys want it because it satisfy them physically. Girls, they do it out of love. How true is this? I mean, some girls like the feeling too. We're all different. It's never going to be easy to lump all guys and girls into that 1 group.

Girls can want it because of the physical aspect too. But then again, I believe most girls do it out of love. This woman is 26 yr old. Not young! She can think, she's smart. She knows what's in for her if they had sex. But why have sex with this guy who was not prepared to accept her baby? Maybe it's her ignorance. Ignorance of the fact that this guy was only playing with her.

Did the guy love her when they did it? Obviously not. He didn't accept her after she became pregnant. Why can't he accept her? He didn't want to marry her. He didn't want to marry her! If you love a person whole-heartedly, you'll obviously want to marry that person given their age of 26 -27.

This got me thinking. Temptations will arise in relationships. But are these physical desires borne out of love? Or simply out of lust? It's a difficult question, simply because we don't want or don't dare to answer it. Or it's because we're unsure of the answers ourselves. In this case, wouldn't it be wise not to engage in such activities? I don't know. It's a tough question. Humans will always be humans. We know it's wrong but we still proceed on.

What does having sex mean? How different can it be from making love? Can a mutual liking for each other justify doing it. Or must there be love before sex? Perhaps, this is down to one's moral values. There is no right or wrong. It's never black or white.

What I feel about this guy is not important. Rather, the readers should come to their own conclusion about this sad story. I'll love to hate this guy. What about you?

Engineer's Pulau Barat 15km run

just reached home, and i'm typing away. haha i'm addicted i think to my blog. anyway i chao kenged today. was supposed to run 15km.. but i went the 10km route anyway.

it was fast, cos we talked cock all the way. shows u that when ur mind is distracted enough, u can make the pain go away! =)))

hmmm cmon cmon, i'm waiting to ord.. next yr 29MAY2006! haha it's going to be the best day of my life.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Cheer UP Seraphine! =)

Hmmm I know u'll come back to read my blog again! haha blame this feeling on my ego.. anyway, As are all that should matter to you now. Afterall, how do u want to enter uni with me if u dun hav gd grades? Go get ur gd grades and we'll walk into uni tgt la ok? forget about other things now.. u said it urself ok, things will be peaceful for now.. just remember u need gd grades and that's enough to motivate u. I hope!

Can we do without this thing called Love?

What is it about love that makes us so irrational, do things we won't usually do?
What is it about love that makes us keep reliving days gone by?
What is it about love that makes us unable to forget and to blank out the past?
What is it about love that makes us wish and wish for the One to always be by your side?
What is it about love that makes us forgive and accept faults?
What is it about love that makes us want to show our best side to them?
What is it about love that makes us feel oh so jealous at the slightest chance?
What is it about love that makes us feel so contented, so blissful?
What is it about love that makes us want to care for a person forever?
What is it about love that makes us unable to let go of memories of the past?
What is it about love that makes us never give up the feeling that we could be together again?
What is it about love that makes us change our ways?

I have this many questions! Anyone wants to help me answer them?

Marina South NDP carnival

LoOk! The show begins...

Pretty Shapes n sizes...

Applause all round...

Finale... Beautiful!

These photos were taken by me during duty at marina south... It was good while it lasted.

Have u ever wished that you could watch this display of fireworks with ur loved ones? At that very moment, i wished for it. Felt a kind of emptiness within me. A feeling of detachment away from the crowd, and for that moment i was away in my own world.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

hahahah went out with wai hong e short legged

this afternoon at ard 4pm me n wai hong met in yishun park to go cycling together. i had no bike so had to go borrow one frm jw. thks dude! my fav cousin! hahaha

then we rode the whole circumference of Yishun. haha not really sure bout e circumference thing. but it sure feels lk it.. we really rode all the way until the expressway i think. then finding nth else to do.. we went back to yishun park to try the slopes. I like speeding...

ok nth really special right?? then came this joke of the yr! haha tt wai hong tried to go down this flight of stairs on his bike.. but his feet couldnt touch the stairs at all, so he sort of bumped down all the way and was not able to stop himself! heh but nth happened to him la.. just that his face came to bout .60m away frm the ground while still on his bike. cool stunt... heh I laughed out loud for the first time in months. this crazy but damn nice fren.. cool, lets do it again! haha

oh ya, we played pool too... i lost Every single game. tough luck. But i'll try again.

btw pple if u do go to marina south tml for the National Day Countdown, do give me a call! i'll try meet u pple there. but i'll be on duty so cant do much.. anyway for those ga-ga over fireworks, pls pls pls go! its 20 over minutes worth of eye poping fireworks display.. its definitely worth ur trip there. Plus i'll be there too! haha yea i know.. gary bhb.. gary show off.. no la! its my own brand of sarcasm ok.. i'm actually being humble here...

tk care pple and a very very happy Birthday to this wonderful nation.

Shit, I just remembered something. I'll be spending National Day in camp... ... bloody bloody hell sob... ...

BorinG day.. so some recollections of my jc life

Am i at home now? haha feels unreal u know. being at home is lk so blissful to me. I'm more of a homebody. This i realised only after i entered the army.

In e past, during my jc period, it was crazy. we pon school left right up down. I still rmb how in aj, we could only leave school after 1230 right? haha so me, wai hong, sihan and sometimes Hutt will go out to play. School was nv impt nor fun at tt time. Hmmm But I din forget another guy! HON BOON! he's part of our clique too but he never did pon classes at all! you hardworking ass!

oh ya back to the 1230 part, u know u cant go out b4 1230.. so what did we do? haha we went to the computer rm n surfed the net, playing games with each other online. Monopoly was a fav then! haha we'll be lk sitting opposite each other in the rm and then trying to bargain with each other to get a better trade!

i REALLY miss those days.. wow... it seems only lk yesterday when i made fun and irritated the hell out of them throughout the day.

actually me n wai hong were the worse among this grp of friends. we were forever in the comp lab.. haha whenever there were any lectures i'll say to him "wei! let's go for computing lah" haha n then usually he'll go. but sometimes i hav to drag him along too heh that guy obviously wanted to attend Proper Lectures at times. BUT it was for the pretty girls in the lecture theatre instead!

u know a lecture is pretty boring when u see heads bobbing up n down, and when this happens people start finding ways to amuse themselves. haha well, i was one of them.

wai hong was the target. heh heh.. my clique used to go swimming after lessons so we'll usually bring along our swimming stuff. heh i knew that guy brought along his sorta colorful trunks for that day... so during this particularly boring lecture, i took out his trunks and threw it to another of my fren.. HAHA! oh man, it was great! we played 'monkey' with his trunks! haha i wondered how many times his black trunks with blue, red and yellow motifs flew over his Head. all this while, the lecture was going on.. cept that pple were beginning to notice my class fooling ard at the back. =))) my idea of fun! i take full credits for the laughter we managed to generate that day!

Do i feel guilty?? haha sometimes lah. But wai hong is a great guy man. He never really gets angry thou i kept teasing him bout everything. we had great fun.. my best bud in jc.

What About GIRLS? haha i did have crushes ok! but nth seemed to work out after my brief but real sweet relationship with Anne (her nick? Anlene - Good for your bones ;> hahaz!) whom i met in nyjc when i was there for the first 3 months. haha those 3 months were havoc la, much much worse then when i was in AJC. Wont say much bout it now, but when i get into the mood.. words will spill forth frm my mouth lk the niagara falls!

Those days were actually very good. i was handsome, dashing and attracted scores of swooning girls. hahaha i told you it helps builds up my confidence!! so stop trying to figure out whether its true or not!

anyway me n my grp of 5 frens went everywhere together in jc.. we'll alert each other whenever any pretty girls walked past us ;> we were practically daring each other to confess to our crushes! sihan did confess to grace... i think so! but nth happened, sianz!

So u see.. I'm not such a boring person afterall.. its just that army made me grow up maybe just this little bit, i learnt to treasure my time at home. shopping centres, orchard rd, all these places are fun too to me. But i will still choose home over all these. Nothing beats being in the comfort of my home. =)

Friday, August 05, 2005

Singapore's NDP & a Poem

Hey guys there'll be a National Day Carnival at Marina South from tomorrow to 14th of Aug this month. And.. it concerns me! haha cos i'll be there on duty on next mon and the day after National Day.

it should be fun for u guys. hope it's fun for me too!

anyway i just want to have fun u know. forget certain things and then have fun again!

i wanna go overseas soon.. but where?? any comments?? not too faraway cos i have no money.. i'm just a poor nsf serving this nation. =(

ok suddenly i have this urge to write.. i HAVE to let it all out..


Captain of his Ship

Splashes of darkness fills my night,
as i wondered about what might be.

This inevitable feeling of helplessness,
comes when you know all is gone,
like the captain of a sinking ship.

When the cause is lost,

Do we turn back to the past?
And ignore what history has taught us?
Gone are the days when she sailed proudly as can be,
the long nights out,

in the unfeeling sea,
has made this once haughty lady,
a painful sight to bear.

Why didn't the Captain do his job?

To keep her afloat, to let her shine?
He had tried, in his own simple, soft ways.
Alas, he was only a man, with faults and all.
No matter how hard he went about fixing the holes,
He never knew what really was needed.

She was beautiful.

Smoothly cutting through the waves on the ocean,

gliding gracefully into the setting Sun,

So gracefully we never knew this would come.

The Waves lash out,
like a madman on the loose.
The Wind blew,
with a vengeance that was never seen.
What could keep this beautiful lady afloat?
The captain thought and started to panic.

Then, he realised it was no use,
she wasn't listening,
she would be gone.


Would he go down with her,
or bail out with hopes for the future?
He didn't know,
for when one comes to a crossroad,
it's never easy to choose left or right.

Then, he woke up to the Sun.

Light was breaking through the darkness that surrounded him,

giving him the warmth,

out in this lonely, cold Ocean.

Where he was stranded in,
without his lovely ship.

The Sun gave him hope,
gave him the strength to carry on.
To fight this terrible monster that came from within,

threathening to strip him of his energy,
and his Life.

With this,
the Captain tried his Best,
to escape the swirling ocean,

tossing him around like he was without weight ,

And ignoring the dreadful coldness slowly seeping into his soul.

He swam for shore.


Thank you Karin, this poem's for ya =)
Without you, i might have remained lost. But for now, with the guiding hand of our friendship, I have reached my shore. haha, you always seem to be there for me. So for any problems u have, find me!

I should add that for all those who are down, Dont despair. There are others who are worse off than you are. Don't pity them please. Go help them!! Kare and concern will only make this a better place for us.

Start with ur family and friends. You'll be surprised how much love u'll receive just by showing some care and concern.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Just came back frm camp..

i dont want to complain, but army life sucks! i get picked on, scolded for things others wouldnt be scolded for, and i get MORE duties! yea, u hav to bootlick, hav special connections or maybe be totally hardworking to have an easier time.

totally stressed out with not making any mistakes cos i know if i do, i'll get double the scolding? haha anyway, sim told me its 9 more months! haha bro, u know the casio watch i hav? i use it to count the number of DAYS left in the army man.

hmmm, guess i better live life happily, even ogres (SHREK) can live happily ever after so why not me?? i lk shrek, he's ugly, smelly and he doesnt give 2 hoot bout pple ard him. haha but he found fiona after all right? such a sweet story... of cos im not lk shrek, im the opposite of him! handsome, sweet smelling and im such a considerate fellow..

erm.. such proclamations Do help raise my morale u know... so bear with me.. heh

hmmm ying knows bout my blog now, so i guess she'll read it religiously evryday? haha i wish. anyway, i read her blog and that guy that gave her a birthday surprise really surprised me too.. good to know that the guy is serious bout her.. well, as jealous as i Might be, gotta admit he's 1 notch higher up in the romantic quotient as compared to yours truly. =(


its OK. I'm Fine. haha really... life goes on, girls come and go... though not as easily as i wish. ;) army life restricts ur social activity. I burn on average 2 to 3 weekends a month ok. what's burn?? it means i hav duties on weekends! cool right? staying in camp on a bright sunny sat or sunday morn! makes my heart so warm, so nice... NOT!

hmmm, ok gotta mention a special fren of mine. And that's Karin =) haha i feel she's a strong person on the outside.. but inside, well she's lk all other girls. and some 'soft' guys too. she's caring, pretty, smart and nice haha.. oh i see some fingers pointing... but No, I'm not in love with this lass. she's a special fren thats all =))

oh another lady im proud to introduce here is the 24/7 mouth-cant-stop-talking Charlene.. heh well, she's not as cute as charlene choi.. but shes somewhere there la. always noisy, a little ignorant of certain facts in life.. haha she knows what i mean.. look she's up there in my blog.. her makeover photo! but erm haha i don't see much difference. okok, maybe a little improvement here and there.. i just dont wanna get beaten up.

life aint gd at the moment, but i'll learn and learn and learn how to let go, to know what's really true love and of cos to cherish those beside me now. u really never never know what might happen in the future. as for me, 1 thing i'm gonna start doing now is not to tell lies if i can help it. haha im a lousy liar u know, but some of my lies are passable. but what i want now is no more lies for me! as for my close frens i dun want lies too ok? promise me tt, and i'll be a happy man..

jokes aside lets pray for zero terrorist incidents in singapore.. cmon, cmon, better pray. i might be one of the first few to go if such a thing happen. afterall im in the EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) unit. haha sad but true.. pray for singapore's safety then!

Monday, August 01, 2005

i lk short hair.. but is this too short? haha anyway, i'm writing again.

But there's a difference this time ard, and that's i'm gonna let pple look into my blog.

In the past, i used to guard this blog lk crazy, treating it as my personal space. No more. It's open! It's free for all! haha

Look back into my past, see how i felt b4. Sad things happened yrs back and also recently. But I'll move on. Afterall, we find it easier to walk ahead right? No point trying to force ourselves to walk backwards again..

Ying, if u read DO read this, tell me ok.. btw i saw ur blog too, it's nice =)