Tuesday, December 27, 2005

End of diary..

Didn't write for the last 2 days there...

It was an experience man..

Merry belated xmas to all =)

DAY 10


Finished the static display of our unit's equipment at noon. Then it's the packing of our stores to prepare for the journey home on Fri.

At around 4pm, we had a parade rehearsal for the closing ceremony. At first, I was in the front row. But after I cocked up on 1 bloody command, I was pushed to the 2nd row. Anyway, after the rehearsal ended, I was singled out by the rsm of 39sce (I'm from 36sce) and told that I showed attitude and my drill is worse than guys from ncc. This shows the army way of doing things. You need a scapegoat to wake therest up. I became one I think. I doubted I showed attitude. Afterall, I know myself best. I doubt my drill really was that fuked up, I was in the military band frm sec1 to 4. You see, pple assume. And sometimes they don't give you a chance to explain urself. My toenail is almost detached sir. But you don't know. Not a problem thou. My own officers didn't think much of it. In fact, I think they were a lil pissed off. You can smell rivalry here =)

My S1 then treated us guys frm 36sce to prata and a drink. Really generous of him. It's not cheap when you have to treat all 20 of us.

After finishing the prata, we had to 'show face' at the cookhse for dinner. But I ended up staying there for more than an hour I think. We talked to this Bruneian sargeant. Found out that it's against the law to be outside after midnight in Brunei. Whoa! hahah and he has 7 cars and owns 1 hectare of land. A sargeant. Not even staff sargeant. And if he were to retire 3 yrs later ater 20 yrs of service, he would get $800 mthly for e rest of his life and a lump sum of $100k. That's alot for a Bruneian!

I talked until I forgot I was holding the bunk keys. I forgot I'm bunk ic today. Shit. The rest of the guys managed to climb thru a small window to open the bunk cos they couldn't find me. They almost wanted to screw me when I went bk to my bunk.

Luckily, they knew I had a shitty day. So I'm still writing.. 2 more days. And tml's sera's bday. Will msg her.

Gd night.


Just finished the display. From early morn till evening. Nothing much to write about. Just want to go home..



Back to work. Had a rehearsal for the display of our units' capabilities. Lasted 1 whole day. Very bored.

I'm already counting down the days to departure. Come quickly pls. I miss home! Want to smell my pillows and bolster. haha

Come friday, I really want try go to a pub or something. No dota joe! Sorry!


Was closing this scrapbook when a leaf fell out. This leaf dated back to when me and anne were tgt back in 2002. Really old leaf. But still in very gd condition. Was very surprised to see it. I didn't even know the leaf was there! Gd memories.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Xmas at Genting

Shall update the brunei stuff sometime later.. not much time these few days.. been playing so much dota and also made a wasted trip to orchard! haha but went to visit karin at her workplace, so not exactly wasted.

Hmmm will be back on the 26th. Then will have leave till 28th. After that, it's straight to changi chalet again for me. A chalet with the guards holding sar21. Cool sia.. they call it Selarang camp. Pretty exotic name if you ask me..

Saturday, December 17, 2005


2nd R & R day. Went to a market by the river. Then we continued on to a water village whr we had some snacks and tea. This village is only accessible through boats. And the boats were really rocky man. Was scared when I had to board and alight frm it, cos it was shaking lk mad! I dont wanna tk a dip in the filthy water(darkish brown)!

We also visited a museum ( think it's some Royal Brunei Museum costing $1.2billion . The museum was all about the sultan of brunei. It held exhibits given to the sultan by other countries and also celebrated some important moments of his life. It was pretty much 1 sided. As in they only showed the gd things. But the effort and money put into this museum is really very obvious. There was a replica of the throne of the sultan. In this room, all the stuff were made of pure gold! Spent quite some time here. Really impressed.

Then it was shopping all the way. I made some gd buys. Too bad I didn't bring enough money thou. Dinner was at a restaurant. The buffet spread was excellent! After almost bursting my stomach, we went to another shopping mall called The Mall. Bloody unimaginative. Made somemore gd buys. Had to borrow money. Then it was bk to camp.



R & R day. Went for a 5.5km run at a beach. Thought it was gonna be tought at first, with all the sand slowing u down. Luckily we ran close to the shoreline whr the sand was harder.

After the run, we had games and bbq. I had fun flying kites. But my kite ended up in a tree, really sad man. Then I went around the beach on an ATV (all terrain veh) and it was damn fun. Oh, the bbq food was great too!

Then in the afternoon, we went to this Shell Oil & Gas Discovery center (OGDC). It's sth like our sg discovery center, cept it has some exhibits on oil exploratino and stuff.

For dinner, we went to a hotel for buffet. It was good man.. I practically stuffed myself with the butter prawns, sweet n sour fish, rendang chicken, blah blah.. paid for by saf.

Then after dinner, we went to Jerudong Theme park. Not much rides available since it's already about 8pm and many rides were under maintainence. So me and my buds went on the water ride. The one whr u peddle and peddle.. my 2 friends peddled while I steered. Can't be helped. I have a better sense of direction. Afterall, I can drive haha

Hmmm, then we played a shooting game whr the targets spitted out water when shot. Kept making e targets shoot at my friends. Was fun.

Finally we went for the bumper cars. Really fun this fun. Me n 2 other friends kept bumping this pretty chinese girl. haha, until she regconised us and gave me a gd bump in return. Girls. Haven't seen a chinese girl for lk ages already. So we had to feast our eyes!

Bk to camp. Damn tired. Gd night! I'm beginning to lk Brunei already. But I sudd have this urge to meet up with old frens after this trip. Hopefully they will all be free.

Friday, December 16, 2005

DAY 5 Trek Out!

Trek out of jungle! So glad to go back to my bunk at Penanjong camp. But the trek out wasn;t really easy. Took us about an hr.
Highlight was a 70degree upslope. No safety rope or anything. But everyone went up successfully.


Getting ready to sleep now. Tired. Missing some people already.

DAY 4 (day 2 in jungle)

Slept for most of the day at kampong Mariam. Tired you know! But I went to see the Bruneians' survival training area and also the booby trap area.

The booby trap area was pretty much the same as in those movies. Grenades tied to tripwires and pressure actuvated switches.

What really interested me thou, was the survival area where they built their own 'tents' and also traps to catch animals. Their 'tents' were totally made up of branches, leaves, and maybe small tree trunks. Very professional looking. I could never do that. And their animal traps, bagus! Totally ingenious. All their traps were made using stuff from the jungle. No metal, no plastic. Just branches and trunks as the springing mechanism.

Later at night, we had a night walk in the jungle. 2 parts, 1 with lighting, the other with no light at all. With the torches on, it was easy. But when we had to switch off our torches, it went crazy. Everyone had to hold onto the sbo of the person in front. Prob was, the person behind me was pulling me and the person in front of me was going too fast. Stretchin exercise for my arms. =)

I went to sleepp after that. I need to sleep.

DAY 3 Trek into jungle (diary)

Today started out with me thinking that the jungle trip was going to be easy. It turned out to be so much worse. The bloody jungle in Brunei has so many hills. We had to climb up countless hills while in our FBO. That means an additional 15kg worth of burden.

There were so many times when we were so bloody close to the clifs cos the path was super narrow. One slip in the muddy sand, god, I won't have the chance to become a father. So many small shoots and trees on the ground.

About 3 hrs into the trek, my legs gave way. Cramps. Bloody hell. I was overconfident and so didn't warm up before the trek. Heh, so my officers helped me carry the fieldpack. Shiok. Felt so light. But I got back my field pack after 1 more upslope. Have to be a soldier. Not a sissy. I'm gratelful to them forhelping me though.

After that, we did 1 knee deep river crossing. Our boots all became soaking wet. And from then on, the trek was even more slippery and muddy. Imagine, heavy boots filled with water. Plus the suction like effect of the mud. Pure agony.

But we trekked on. With quite a few dips and falls.

Finally after about 4 hr, we reached kampong Mariam. By now, our unifroms were all full of mud. I went 'dead' for about 5 mins man. Couldn;t speak, move or even stand. No one could stand anymore!

After that brief rest, all went to a nearby river to wash up. Shiok!!

Today was one of the toughest day in my life. But really very fulfilling. Glad that I didn't give up.

DAY 2 (diary)


Just had prata at the canteen. Wow, it sure tasted gd! Better than the prata at jalan kayu, I think. Then I went to the cookhse to 'show face'. Cos actually the army meals really cmi. 1 plate of rice, 2 side dishes. The prata seemed a much better choice.

This morning, we went around to view some equipments. Nothing much that we don't have over in sg. So we weren't really interested nor impressed. But being soldiers, we paid attention and made them seemed to think that their equipments were really unique! Haha!

After the viewing of equipments, we had to rehearse for the opening ceremony of this exercise Bintis Bersama. The Bruneian soldor gave the parade orders. At first, we didn't understand those orders at all. So we did nothing. Haha, it was only after they showed us, then we knew.
Frm there, everything went smoothly.


Tomorrow is the start of the jungle camp. Really hope everything goes well. I honestly don't want to drink water from the streams. So I'm gonna have to ration my water usage.

Good Night! Tml is gonna be the start of many surprises. =)

DAY 1 Off to Brunei (diary)

The flight to Brunei was uneventful, but the the seating arrangement realy sucked. It was squeezy and after just 1 hr, my butt started to hurt like nuts man.

When we reached Brunei, we had to unpack alot of stores. But it was still ok.

Then we were brought to this cookhouse. The Bruneian soldiers welcomed us by playing some malay instruments and gave each of us a flower tied tgt with an egg. It felt really gd to be treated like this.

Lunch was a simple affair. Plain rice with chicken and long beans. But the friendliness of the host more than made up for any short-comings mealwise.

Shall stop here. Might write again tonight.


I can't sms my dad! Can only receive sms. Urgh!!

Very tired, feel like sleeping already. Hope I can dream of nice things tonight! Heh.. with my dream gal. Walking along the beach.. Sleep!

Sunday, December 04, 2005

off to brunei

will be flying off at roughly 0500 hr tml. erm, try not to msg me ya. it's really expensive over there. i'll be charged for both sent and received msges. BUT if u think i'll appreciate ur msg then just go ahead! won't be taking photos cos camera phones are not allowed.

will be back on the 16th. those close frens of mine.. make sure we meet up ya! Brunei, let's hope you'll treat me gd. come, let me blow a kiss to u guys.. hahahahha gonna miss ya man..

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Lunch today, dinner and movie some other day!

Let's watch a movie together some other day. After Brunei! Haha Do you know that the way you pout ur lips, hahah very cute ;)

P.s. Open the gift only on the night before your birthday k. Count the stars. They glow..

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

my life rating

Found out about this thingy from joyce. And I attempted it.

This Is My Life, Rated
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

... and I think it really does reflect my life quite well. Haha gotta do sth about the love portion of my life!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Preparations for the trip to brunei

Pre flight briefing:

"bee hives are fairly common in the jungle, so do not disturb them"

"while crossing the river, make sure u hold onto something, in case e current drags u away"

"be careful of snakes, tread carefully" shit!

"when walking near rivers, be wary of crocodiles" double shit!

"might drink from river streams. try to black tape ur water bottles. u wont fear what u can't see" wth.. as if I'll drink water with foreign objects in it.

"the bruneians ( is that how u spell? ) hahaha seems so wrong. Lazy to check the dict. ... might challenge u.. climb mountain.." I'm dead..

Heck! Whatever comes, comes. Shall see it there.

On my way home today, I met Yao Ming and Amanda! Haha ym still looks the same. Yandao kia. Heh and manda seems pretty fine. I met them separately. First was ym, then we spoke for awhile. Just some small talk, but yea it felt nice to meet an old fren. Then I met manda in 969! but too bad, we were separated by the crowd. In the end, we msged each other during the trip.. pretty fun. So near, yet so far!

Meeting ur old friends can be quite nice. Dunno how to describe. But it's, nice. =)

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Getting a new mp3 player

Am going to get a new mp3 player. A 512mb flash based version. This's for the brunei trip.. shit, really hope I can get back from there in gd shape. I really want to enjoy my trip to genting! Don't wanna come back with foot rot, scratches, cuts, and worse, some disease.. But 3d2n navigating in the jungle.. how to avoid all these??

We even have to get sand flies net. Imagine this, at night while sleeping, we have to cover our heads with this net.. It's lk putting a total hood over my head, it covers just the head alone. Looks lk shit. But I'll take photos. cos camera phones are allowed.

Hmmm, I wanna watch Saw2 too.. It's really thought provoking u know. How far would you go to keep ur life? Would u betray your friends? Would you lose an eye, a limb? Just to stay alive..

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

20th Birthday

Finally, the big 20.

What have I achieved so far? Almost nothing noteworthy.. I want to do something big. But I lack the determination and the drive. So, just slack first lor. But I'll definitely make it big somehow. Big as in maybe doing something really helpful to others and getting really successful in my studies and career. Not now. But I promise myself it'll be done soon enough.

But these past years, I've learnt how to protect myself. How to stop others from taking advantage of me. I've learnt how to say No. How to stand up to someone. All these don't come naturally to me though. I remembered how I just couldn't say no to my friends when they needed something, but I needed that same thing too, and got scolded because I told teacher I didn't bring the stuff.

Also, I've learnt how to listen selectively. Things that you don't put to heart, you won't mind.

Besides, I've also learnt how to really differentiate the good friends from hi-bye kinda friends. I mean, you can really talk alot to this person, but that doesn't mean that this particular friend will be a true friend. Friendship is a big part of my life. But I don't mind having just a few true friends. Afterall, I'm myself, for most parts, the kind of hi-bye friend to others. The more effort I see my friends putting in to keep in touch with me, the more I'll treasure them.

Having said all these, it's really important for me not to lose my way in life. I want to remain being myself. I don't want to become selfisfh, nor do I want to become this fake person who goes around trying to make others like me. If I don't feel comfortable lending a person something, I'll try not to lend in future. Right now, I still can't really say no and then feel gd. It's always been uncomfortable for me to reject someone. In short, I want to be frank to others. I never did like fake people. And I really hope I won't become one. Cos, sometimes, I feel like I'm really fake. haha.. but luckily, it's quite rare..

Well, lets hope things go smoothly for me! Adulthood? Bring it on man!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Shallow talk.

Shit, I'm turning into a tan-o-phile. All bloody Joe's fault. Keep jio-ing me to go swim.

What's up with tanning? It's like the in thing now. I go to the pool, and I see all these girls trying to look pretty in their bikinis. They don't swim. The most they do is just go under the surface and blow bubbles.

Joe, you keep staring at those girls like they're miss universe material. Cmon, put ur glasses on, and you'll know why I prefer to just close my eyes when I'm at the jacuzzi. Heh, yes, I wear contacts while swimming. Saves me so much trouble. Cos my goggles don't have to be degree-ed! hahah... but seriously my contacts' main task, is to help me look at the sights around the pool when I feel lk it. =)))

P.s. Pearl, your blog is so damn refreshing! Haha I like the way u said 'but huala, after class, the tcher disappeared' huala?? hahaha

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Infuriating. But I can never be angry at girls for long. Haha

Sunday, November 13, 2005


What's wrong with them? Any damn problems you have with my attitude, just tell it straight to my face. I'm not obliged to behave in a way they deem fit. I'm myself. I voice out my displeasure. If you don't like it then just back off. What's wrong with not accepting some tasks and jobs? WHAT'S WRONG? I'm actually being fair here. Being fair to myself is also being fair. There is no reason why I should do something when others are already qualified enough to do it. What is fairness if they keep expecting me to burn weekends cos I started out late? Pls.. there're others who started out later than me, yet even if they get weekend stuff, they still go back earlier. Is this fair?

Talking behind my back. Now that usually won't affect me, but I thought they were my friends. This totally suck. But it's ok. We're friends no more now. Just colleagues.

Plus, I know you tried to tekang me. In the end, it backfired. I didn't try to avoid the sweep. It just happens that you didn't have the brains to sabo me. Too bad..

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Swim, Tan, Look.

Went to safra wanting to swim. But pool was too crowded. Instead me and joe went straight to the jacuzzi part of the pool. Boy, I saw some babes. Saw this girl in yellow bikini just sitting by the pool side. She seemed alone. I thought she was waiting to be picked up! Yea, as expected, she was chatted up by this guy who swam beside her. I thought this guy was gonna succeed, but nah, she kept to herself after awhile.

Nope. I don't have the guts. That guy had balls.

Got myself a pretty even tan.

Sunday, November 06, 2005


Ok, removed the link. So I won't be tempted to go look.

Also, I removed Xian's addy. It's a dead link.

Lucky me.

I think I'm lucky. Really.

Was walking to the bus stop last night. Had to book in to camp cos of the sweep this morning. Imagine my mood, booking in on a saturday night. So it was already bad enough for me to be going back to camp alone.. then of all things I had to see them. It's lk really shitty. What do you do to this person?

Ignore? I couldn't. Haven't seen her since ages..
Smile? Are you nuts? It's so bloody difficult. Anyway if I smiled, it would be so fake.

So I bit my lips and just sort of gave her a half wave and then get tha freaking hell out of there.. feeling shittier with each step I take. Cmon, I was practically trying to fly out there..

The look I saw on her face. It seems lk she's trying to see whether I'm gonna break down or cry just there. She looked worried. Worried about what? I dunno man...

God, I'm really getting shit these days.

Sera! See ya soon! I want go drink man...

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Oh well...

Might as well be ok with going for the sweep. It sucks. But if I don't go, who will? Haha. Those bloody pple who took commitments on sunday.. After I get my 7k mileage.. It's my turn.

MAs, MCs, here I come!

Friday, November 04, 2005

My life.

Lost my girlfriend. Check.

Got over it. Check.

I thought things were gonna get better.


Last month. October 2005. 5 weekends.

I burnt 4 on army duties.

This month. November 2005. 4 weekends.

Comfirmed burnt. At least 3 weekends.

PLUS, A WHOLE BLOODY WEEK OF EXERCISE. ( Waking up at fuked up hours, doing shity stuff )

Next month. December 2005.

Going to Brunei. Not a holiday.

It doesn't end!


Fuck you.

Very much.

See? This is why army guys lose their gf. Fuck. You want me to go citylink to fetch you after ur work, I'm fine. You want me to walk to ur working place frm there. I'm fine too. But when I say I'm tired, and I still make a trip to citylink, I just want you to walk over to the station, you feel sth is wrong. Wth.

When I ask to stay at home on weekends. You feel bored. But we went out alot too. See how many fucking weekends I spend in camp? Is it any wonder I love my home so much?

You said we quarrelled alot. Did we? I always tried to give in to you. Didn't I? Did I ever shout at you? I think your definition of a 'quarrel' is 'when *** **** feels sad'.

Fuck it. No one understands.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Exam Stress! hahaz

Was chatting to sera yesterday. Told me that she's worried about her As. And I seriously cant do anything about it.. haha how do u tell someone not to worry about it? It's impossible not to worry about exams. Even gd students get worried too. What makes it more worrying in sera's case is that she lacks confidence. Same as my brother!

I remembered how I used to have ill-founded confidence. I did not study hard, but then I still had the confidence that I could make it through. I wasn't all that prepared, the thing that gave me confidence at that time was cos I kept studying, kept trying to squeeze all the shit into my head. This is not studying hard. This is cramming. Mugging. AND I knew I probably couldn't study any harder during the last few months before the As. So I did my best to mug. It gave me confidence.

A few weeks passed....

Went into the exam hall, saw all these people, some worried, some relaxed, most were joking. Me? I could still breathe. I just wanted this thing to end. Especially the econs papers. A few hours later, I'm back home mugging for the next day's papers. Doesn't really sound scary.. so I have no idea why some people freak out at exams. My mugging did help me deal with the qns. And I guess I truly gave it my all.. considering how late I started preparing..

So my pt is, just go study now. People like sera, pearl, yibin and my brother. Mug!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Clara, happy birthday!

Happy Birthday! Hahaz those guy friends of yours must be crying now. Wallet so light.

I pity them actually. But well, you're the birthday girl. Happy Birthday =)

Saturday, October 29, 2005

brunei then genting

Will be going to brunei from 5th to 15th dec. Then to genting frm the 24th to 26th. It will be fun..

Staff Tan is leaving in 3 weeks' time. Gd or bad? Not sure right now. Gotta take a look at the replacement. Hope it'll be an nsf. So we can 'eat' him. Haha..

Sunday, October 23, 2005


My first flight out ended in tragedy!!

Sick to the bone. It sucks. But it's really pilot error and some stupidity. God I didn't even do my research on how the ailerons worked. Turns out I wired it up the opposite way. It went left when I wanted it to turn right! Urgh!

Sry plane. It wasn't your fault. You tried.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Girls = Evil

Chanced upon this gem. Think it's true? Hahaha the equation says it all. Also, I made a new friend. Have a safe trip to Bangkok =)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Plane completed!

Ok, got my receiver today! And I thought it was going to be easy just fixing the receiver into the body. But no, it wasn't easy at all. I sweated buckets, until I realised that pulling onto the bloody stick wasn't gonna make it come out. Why? Cos it was expoxied to the body. And expoxy is tougher than super glue!

Ok, so I took off my polo shirt. It was pink, but that's besides the point. It was wet too.

So half naked, I got to work. I rmb something about heat being able to soften expoxy. So i got mum's hairdryer and heated up the stupid area. It worked great! I'm a smart boy. Haha, so after some sweaty moments, it finally came out.

Then another problem, I had to push the soft wire antennae of the receiver through the hollow stick which just caused me so much problems. Now the bigger problem is that the hollow stick (70cm long) has a 1cm opening, but at the end it only had a 2mm opening. I had to get the antennae (1.5mm dia) in thru the big opening and out into the small opening. I thought it was really impossible this time.

The antennae was soft and just like a small wire. And it was curly. HOW? Heh, my brain went to work again.

1. I got a needle and thread and pushed the thread into the needle or whatever u call it.
2. I dropped the needle into the big opening and shaked it till it came out of the small opening.
3. Now, with the end of the thread at the big opening, I tied it to the very edge of the antennae.
4. I pulled the antennae ever so gently thru the stick using the thread.

Haha, I think almost 90% of people won't read till here. BUT it's my blog. So no problem.

Years later, when I'm frail and forgetful, I'll once again rmb how smart gary was as a young man. =)

I'm egoistic. But not in a bad way. Hahaha

Friday, October 14, 2005

Waiting for my receiver, 40 yr old virgin

So I'm gonna get my receiver on this Sunday morn. Then some experiments and I'm ready to fly! Yes, can't wait for this day..

But then again, life is like so boring right now, my off days are spent at home! Maybe will go for a swim, but today's like a rainy gloomy day.

K, I watched the 40 yr old virgin. The main actor is one freaking major dork.. Can you imagine peeing into ur own face in the morning?! Haha, but the scene didn't really make me laugh cos john had already told me bout it. So I was kinda just expecting it to happen. Gonna ask him to shut up next time round. This is one rude show meant for us! Go watch it, and just laugh out loud. Oh, it's m18 btw. So no kids in the stall!

My week is sooo boring.

P.s. I might be going to Brunei

Sunday, October 09, 2005

My latest addition to my fleet. =)))

Hahah, I know Jw is gonna say 'not again'.. But this time, I'll make sure I fly this well. It's big! I arranged it beside my heli to give a perspective of the size of this plane. But I still can't fly it yet. I still need a receiver.. And Jw has kindly offered to go with me to get it hahaz keep ur word bud!

K, someone special wants to watch the wig.. But what kinda movie is the wig?? I have absolutely no idea.. guess I have to go search for some info online then.

Dreaming of planes, helis, and living up high in the skies..

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Spread the Love.

Haha, spread the love. Like how you spread butter onto the bread. Oh and this reminds me of a joke, it's a gd one.. Why are Aussie ladies like butter?

They spread easily.

Cue: HAhahahaHAHa

Ok. I'm probably laughing alone.

But spread the love. Spread YOUR love. Loving can be hard, but it sure doesn't die. It goes on and on. We just have to spread it.

  • I helped this lady on the mrt by giving up my seat to her, she smiles at me. Our mood instantly gets lifted up.
  • Being in a gd mood, she decides to teach her wilful daughter-in-law how to cook something decent.
  • Her D-I-L is touched and treats her older colleagues better, and they're all happier.
  • The cycle continues.
  • All these happened cos I was such a kind hearted soul. See my point?
So I make it a point to try help those in need. But of cos in army it's different la. Why do unneccsary stuff? If you cock up, they'll just point the finger at you. If you do things right, they most probably didn't notice.

To all who said "gary did it, must be him", f* you. Please get ur bloody facts right.

And Dota is really fun. Haha someone once told me her bf said dota makes a guy wish he's single. Glad I found dota then!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Sick of Friendster's unreliable shit.

Wrote a testi to someone but it didn't get thru. Wth. Whats wrong with it. Now I got no mood to even write something close to what I wrote before. The feel is just not there anymore. Pissed off with this shit.

Anyway life is gd for me now. Boss is on leave. Slack time!

Wanna go out real soon.. Don't like to stay at home now.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Am I nuts?

Am I a little nut?

Still safe in my shell?

Or do I even have a shell?

I'm wondering if I'm a nut.

Nuts are nice to eat.

I love cousin Cashew and aunty Almond.

But it sucks when they hav to go,

To the haven we call the pits.

And into the pits they went.

All jumping with joy,

From an unhappy pale to

A light golden brown.

So healthy.

So fit for eating.

I like nuts.

They're stupid.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Planning or fantasizing?

Sometimes, when you are planning something (it could be a trip out or maybe just a simple dinner), and you really put your heart into it. Is it truly planning or fantasizing?

Getting the settings right, the perfect place to go to, which clothes to wear, what to say and do. This is planning right? Or is it just fantasizing? Cos nothing has ever worked out right for me. Haha.. when I plan a beautiful day out, it never seems to feel that way. Yes, it might be enjoyable but it's never the same as what I had envisioned. Did my expectations spoil my day?

I have a quirk. I compare my fantasies to reality. When I can't have something or maybe even someone. I fantasize about those hard-to-get gadgets, unrealised relationships, and so on. I do this throughout the day. So that's why I'm dreamy at times. Then when something in real life comes along, and it sort of mirrors my fantasies, I get nervous but easily disappointed too.

I compare my dreams to reality. And that's where everything goes wrong. Beautiful dreams never get ugly. Reality does. I can plan and fantasize all day, but on that day, it becomes ordinary when compared to my fantasy.

I feel compelled to act out my dreams. Haha.. ya it's true. On those few dates out, I've always fantasized and acted it out in my mind long before the date happened. But I'm often disappointed maybe cos I'm really stressed out. I try to keep reality parallel to my dreams. It just doesn't work. Haha I have no idea what I'm writing about now. Getting nowhere..

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Real Sorry to You

I'm seriously sorry to ya. You know who you are. But I really thought that it was pretty funny at that time. It was just a joke u know? Erm, and don't worry, I've deleted it. No harm done right? As for that thousand word apology. It's hard. And what do you want to do with a letter anyway?

See? This apology is public, so it's really sincere ok. Forgive me and please don't take it heart.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


Sad. Life shouldn't be like this.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Oak Tree Poem

Once there was this little Sapling,
waiting to grow big and strong.
But it waited and waited,
for Mr Sunny and Ms Rainy never did come,
so it shriveled
an Oak Tree Sapling.

Clara? Here's your oak tree poem. Too bad I couldn't get it to live past long enough to have something to write about. Haha, and there's no need to feel guilty about what you did. You did nothing wrong..

Wow, I'm praying hard actually.. I hope I'll be free this Sat! Please, no sweeps or details! I want my Saturday to be free!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Swim then movie with friends

went for swim alone cos wai hong pang seh me.. but it's ok.. cos in future we'll go tgt.. u promised bro. haha..

then i kinda rushed to bishan cos i didn't wanna buy clara cookies. absolute waste of my money. haha turns out tt shu e and her were late too.

So with jw, waihong and those 2 girls, we went to watch hinokio. a nice show, a little thought provoking. I love that female lead man.. so cute.. so spunky.. my kinda girl! and clara pls open ur eyes.. she's a girl ok!

then went to sakae, had fun talking with them. but i think i went overboard with wai hong.. sorry ya? haha i think i got drunk on green tea. so was a little high. tell u la, u are a damn gd bro.. really.. if any girls dunno how to appreciate u, tell me! i'll knock some sense into them.. haha! right? Future Roomey?? not rooney! not tt ugly footballer..

mmm.. ok i guess i wont poke my nose into anything anymore. hav a gd night people. sweet dreams. i hope i hav one too..
Mmmm.. wondering if I should keep this blog public. Beginning to care about what I write in here.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Missing you..

That day. The letter I wrote during field camp. And got ben to mail it to you.

A little silly. Used my torch to write this letter while I was under the tent.

Words became harder to write cos it was too dark.

Every word I really wanted to get through. So primitive, but real happy when I knew ben could get it posted for me.

Miss those days..

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Ajc as seen from Google Earth


Great! Love this program..

Joyce: Here's Ajc! ( cloudy, that's y photo wasn't tt great ) haha am I a gd cousin? Quick, say it! Ajc is in my blood man, cos I have 3 cousins who have studied in Aj at one point or another and of cos that's including myself.

Google Earth!

Cool?? Yea it's the Himalayas.. Looks like some kinda leaf right?? Got this screenshot from a program called Google Earth. I tell you, I'm loving this program day by day... Need something local?

Nah! Here's our very own city area. Need some more pics? Haha tagboard me any location on earth and I'll try my best to find it. For a fee, of cos... hahaha ( a treat la!)

Today's the end of my block off period.. quite sad.. cos it means I have to go straight back to hell again tonight. And can Somebody pls stop thinking that I'm very slack? You know who u are! haha Cos I'm really not. This period of time is more lk a lull period for my unit. But come xmas, new yr, Cny.. it's going to get crazy pretty soon enough.

Luckily I'm taking leave on xmas ( going to Genting with friends! ). Hehz please ok, those whom I've already asked to go, try tell me asap whthr u guys can make it or not. I've been thinking about some nice games we can play.. hehz you know.. guys, gals, some food, some drinks.. in a hotel room.. haha Games Galore! Use ur imagination people!

Oh it's only September.. cant believe I'm already dreaming about this xmas. k, let's hope it'll be a fun trip for us all.

Headache. Unlimited wants and desires. (thks Mr Choy for teaching me such terms) But I never did pay attention to your classes anyway. BoOr-ing! How? First I read about the Ipod Nano, then my heli battery seems to be going south, and at the same time, I'm also going crazy over rc airplanes. God.. give me strength to resist it all..

K, now I wanna write about some matters of the heart:

You've told me that we'll avoid contact for now, and I accept it, cos it'll be a gd thing for us to do. Life for you I think will be pretty busy from now on. Just take gd care of urself. I dunno what might happen in the future, but right now, I still care, I think. Just that I don't think it can be called love on my part anymore. I think love is subjective, infatuation at its highest point might feel like love to some. For me, I think I can understand a little bit more.

Love doesn't come to you in the beginning of a relationship. It's only after you get into a relationship, learn to cherish and be totally unselfish towards each other, then this liking can truly blossom into love. Another thing that I've come to realise is that love needs constant nurturing and 'maintainence'. You can't say you love her, then expect her to understand how u feel. You need to express it in other ways. Love can die you know.. without any input, never ever think that this girl or guy who may have liked u alot in the past will continue to do so in future. It's like growing a flower. No water? Simple.. no flowers for you!

Monday, September 12, 2005

Doesn't this strike a chord...?

when a GUY sms
a girl
he expects her to reply.

when a GUY calls her everyday,
he wants to hear her voice.

when a GUY is quiet,
he is tired of loving her but yet dunoe if

when a GUY looks at her with eyes full of
he is wondering if she loves him.

when a GUY says "I'm fine" after a few
he is not fine at all.
(bloody true...!)

when a GUY stares at her,
he is thinking what if only he can have her.

when a GUY lies on her shoulder,
he is hoping time would stop forever.

when a GUY wants to see her everyday,
he misses her.

when a GUY says "I love you",
he actually means it.

when a GUY says he can't live without you,
he means if you die, he will die. (this one, I don't believe)

when a GUY says "I miss you",
he really misses her.


Quite disappointed with the way things have turned out for my block off period. I actually wanted to have fun these few days. But it turns out that there's nothing much for me to do cos everyone's not free..

So I'm at home, trying to keep myself busy. Turns out tt some of my camp mates who're also at home jio-ed me to play dota. Haha But I still suck at it.. Kept dying!!

Hmmm.. I've been thinking, what makes you want to buy an Ipod nano even though you might already have an mp3 player. God, I've already spend alot on mp3 players. Now, along comes this Ipod nano. It's really damn nice man. I especially like the piano black version.

THE Ipod Nano

Well let's see how it goes first.. I might not want it after a few more weeks of consideration and reconsideration. Haha..

Hmmm someone said to disturb me after her exams.. Hahah, so make sure you disturb me after your exams! I'm sick. I like being disturbed. =)

Sunday, September 11, 2005

AHM! And this sweet gift from Clara ;>

See This?? Ran really hard to get the medal. Ran the 21.1km in 2:24 Hr.. God it seems like forever when you run. But it was ok when I was running. The pain only came after I completed the run. My left knee hurts.. haha eh, ya that's all. BUT, I cant walk properly now, cos it really hurts la! Many thanks to Jun Yan who kept pushing me on. And his lousy calculations of our timing, cos he kept me thinking that we were only 10 min ahead of the required time. For god's sake, I think we were lk 50 mins ahead of time! And so we ran and ran. Haha you know what kept me going on?? I wanted this medal so very badly, cos I've never ran a half marathon before. So I wanted something to show for it. Oh and there were quite a few girls who ran 21km too... haha it's an ego thing. You simply can't stop in front of those girls.. gonna show them what I'm made of! Hahaz Feeling tired and lazy now...

Front of medal

Back of medal

Oh and a little gift from Clara..

Hahaha What do you want me to do with this?? I thought it was a fancy matchbox lor... Dun pollute my mind ok? I'm like this oh-so-innocent kinda guy. Hahaz!

Friday, September 09, 2005

Life is unfair.

Ya... And you better believe it.

An unfortunate man is one who wants to fart, but shits instead.

-hahha got it frm the LeScrap Book.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Ippt silver and F***ed up planning

Got Ippt silver today. Anyway I think I was pretty lucky to get it. Haven't even been training.

Anyway i just reach home and then I found out tt I must set off for camp again in lk 45 mins! wth.. i thought they gave me about 3 hrs at home. wasted my trip home.

P.s. Study hard for those having exams. Get well for those who are unwell. Plan to play hard for those bored pple. And for those still discovering themselves, it's natural la! Right bOon??

Bye! Gotta Fly. This bloody camp..

Monday, September 05, 2005

Unit Bowling Day & overseas leave

Ok, just came home after bowling at Marina South. Was fun but quite subdued. Anyway the best part is that I'm home earlier!

Anyway, someone owes me an answer to a question. Actually this question is not difficult to answer when taken at face value. It's only difficult if you keep thinking of other things. It's only tough to answer when the mind is uncertain. But I need an answer soon. It's only right for me to have it, I think.

Also, I have applied for overseas leave on the 24th Dec to 27 Dec, so the grp of 5 guys, you better go apply soon man! Don't waste my leave ok. As for destination, we can go to Malaysia la, haha jw dunwan go Thailand.. besides M'sia is cheaper. Cruise, Genting, Penang, KL anything la! OK or not?

Wah sianz... nth to do now. So waiting for the weekends to come again. Haha AHM (Army Half Marathon) on this Sunday. Who wanna run with me?? 21km.. come, feel free to join me man.

Haha jw, I'm free on Sat but up till around 7pm only. Cos have to go back to camp. As for this Sunday, sorry it's full! hahah try again.. ;>

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Today passed quicky..

How nice if everyday could be lk today. =)

Woke up at 1+pm today... hahah didn't go for my run. Shit. I'll run again next time. Then facai came to my home together with my auntie and her little daughter. He loves my toes! haha yea, lick it all u want caicai.

Then I went out to meet sera, and I enjoyed myself. Haha I think we talked non-stop throughout. Cept when you had to study. Okok gotta go slp now. Dad is nagging. Cant write much tonight. But Fries with Chillli taste gd!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Felt lk shit, but along came this angel

Do you know how it feels when something smacks you right in the face? Like a fishmonger slapping you with his biggest fish on sale. The bloody stench, the pain, and the awakening to reality. That sorta happened to me yesterday night. Reality bites.

So I went to camp in a damn bloody mood. Booking in again. Made it a doubly bloody night for me.

But really couldn't tahan anymore in camp so I had to talk to someone. And this person was real sweet. Haha.. sometimes you can give advice to others, but when it comes to yourself, you simply throw all sensible thoughts away. It happens to me and this silly girl too! You obviously know what's wrong and how to tackle it.. just that it's hard, but of cos.

As for me, I have already decided on what to do. Let go of the past. Afterall, it sucks.. so why go on thinking and thinking right? No point la.. they don't care, so why the hell should I care? Care as in real concern. Not those kinda hI! Bye! type of bullshit. Bullshit can be nice, for the bare patch of land that is - it's only for growing grass. So I say cut all the bullshit.

Anyway, thk you for those comforting words ;)

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Project Superstar Craze

I hope Kelly wins! Haha look at her cute, chubby cheeks. Just feel lk biting them!

Anyway, this Sat I should be going out.. to pei someone study. Heh but of cos if we have the time, I feel lk watching March of the Penguins. Cos I read that the film maker actually went to Antarctica (not sure) to film it over a year. Basically, I think it's about a penguin's life and its family. Should be a great story.

Oh ya, Jw.. Thanks for teaching me how to play Dota! U were very patient with me man. You know why I'm suddenly so Onz about playing it? Cos my camp mates keep talking bout it! And then 1 day I wanna go play with them. Wah lao, but there's so much to learn. So complicated. You can definitely be a good teacher, bro! Haha next time we go find jobs as tutors la ok! I wanna teach those pui pui little kids. haha then can go pinch them. I have an obsession with pinching fat cheeks! => waohaohaha

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I Remember

For a special Friend of mine. I made you a promise, and here is a poem about us.

I Remember,

meeting you when we were both 17.
Fresh out of secondary school,
We went to this place,
Which was home to us for the next 3 months.

You were one of the few,
and definitely one of my best,
and closest friend,
in this place named Nyjc.

Together in Pegasus,
we painted the hoardings,
with brushes and even our palms.
And walked away with the first prize too!

Those 3 days of my life,
I'll never forget them.
'Cos in those 3 short days,
I got to know this precious friend of mine.

Remember the times,
we had fun buying stuff,
for this bbq I organised?
When we went searching for things,
that we never knew were needed for a bbq!

And I still remember,
on one evening,
when we took a walk,
just the two of us,
from Woodlands interchange to this stadium nearby.
We just sat there,
and chatted the hours away.

Maybe you didn't know,
but I ignored the calls from mum.
'Cos I didn't want this day to end!

There are still so many things that I remember well.
Things that make me smile,
that will always bring warmth
and a certain sense of affection from me for you.

Hearing you cry over the phone,
on the eve of Valentine's Day,
my heart actually felt a lil something for you.
But I pretended that all was ok,
'cos I made a choice and stuck with it.

Looking back now,
and given another chance.
I would have done things
in quite different ways.

But all these memories,
shall stay with me.
And I hope that this friend,
whom I miss,
will feel the same way too.

Miss those days. Alot.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Good Day!

Went out today with 7 babes and dudes. Jw, Wai Hong, Hon Boon, ZhaoXian & his little bro, Clara and Shimin.

We went to ice skate at Jurong. It was quite fun cos I've not been there for quite awhile. I was thinking about keeping my butt off the ground at first. Hehz some others were not as lucky. Jw hurt his feet cos its either his skates giving him prob or he wasn't skating the right way. Anyway he had this big blister with lotsa blood on the sock.. oh man, it sure looks painful! haha!

Basically we went round after round. Haha but it's really fun la to have ur gd frens ard you.

My day haven't ended yet u know. So after dinner, we took this train back to yishun and then I bluejacked some poor guy or girl during the journey. I bluetoothed over this msg "Hi, Hello!" lk 4 times. Hahahaha I could hear the poor fellow's phone beeping away without knowing where the hell tt msg came frm. Coolz! I juz love doing such things.

Haha still with me? Then, after I reached home, I went out again. Cos I had to pass gp notes to Seraphine. Hope you'll use it well ok! It's really a great source to study frm for gp. Ok, so I sent her hm. Then it was when we were sitting down waiting for my bus hm tt i saw her feet, Haha! So small! 'Fortunate' Gal we have over here. hahaha Keep tt smile on ok =)

End of my day. Finally. Gonna go drool... zzZ

Friday, August 26, 2005

Trying to be Larger than life

Always looking for an escape. Us humans.

Beer. Outings. Chats. All these are simply attempts at escaping from something.

Went out with jw today. Chatted with him. And drank beer too. haha am I escaping from something? Boredom? And what causes this boredom from within?

No idea, dude. Really No idea at all.

Damn this boredom.

Oh, But tml shall be going out skating with friends. Hope it'll be better tml.

Here, Finally got my new specs. Showed this photo to someone and she siad i should trim down. =( haha i got a chubby face mah.. how to slim down??

Anyway looking at the photo, i think i look lk a zombie! look at the dark rings around the eyes. shit, should get more slp! anyway.. i lk my specs la.. =)))

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Crazy Spectacles experience!

hahaha.. today is the 2nd time i returned my new spectacles.

The 1st time i returned it was because the left side was underpowered by 100 degrees! I think this's the shop's fault. But they very gladly accepted back the specs to redo the lense.

The 2nd time, it was the right side which felt underpowered to me. Cos since my left side was corrected, the right side felt a little underpowered. So i sms-ed the shop owner, not expecting to really get a reply. I got a call instead from him! He apologised profusely and offered to retest my eyesight again. So off i went into his shop again. He was very nice about it. I think it was my fault this time cos when i first took the eyesight test i did it half heartedly. Now, after the 3rd test, he said he will change the lense for me again. Such a nice guy...

I would really recommend you pple to try out this spectacle shop. The service is great. The guy is really responsible. He told me he was sorry for my experience and that to him, the money i paid means that i was to be given the whole complete package, and not "u take it as it is".

This shop is Daniel Vision. His shop is at Yishun Central 1. Anyone wants to make one? haha


It's getting so boring in camp. Nothing much to do. But i guess it's up to me to motivate myself.. hmmm, nth much to write today. going back to camp later.
tk care fellows!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

To e Iceland at Bugis!

When we stepped in, I knew I wore the right footwear. Too bad for zz. haha

Remember Troy? The big wooden horse? Yea this's my ice horse =)))

Me atop an ice tower. Feels like glass!

A car, a pretty girl and me! haha 'cool' ride here.

Under the Taj Mahal.

ZZ under the Taj Mahal. Red riding hood. hahaha

ZZ with the Sleeping Buddha! On gd terms with each other ;)

Really had fun today. Was glad to finally go out and just relax. Thanks zz for ur wonderful company. Haha... took many many photos and then we went to Siam Kitchen for our dinner. Had a nice dinner.. Then we just chatted about relationships, gals, guys, and our very 'Clever' past. haha it's in the past! "peak at wrong time.." ;)

Friday, August 19, 2005

Cheering Up!

Shit, there goes my perfect pronunciation.

Had a good talk with John in camp yesterday. Was glad to have someone to talk to. We talked about basically 2 things. My ex. And Shawn. I didn't exactly agree with him on some pts, but it was heart warming nonetheless to have a friend who listens.

Hmmm, this Sunday will be for going out with zz. To the ice palace in Bugis. Haha to see ice sculptures! Will definitely take photos this time. Dunno why she wants to go there.. but after some internet searches about this exhibition, I'm itching to go too! Hope this day turns out fun for us.

Got off today. So I'm gonna go make new spectacles with jw later. Finally. Haha...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Feeling Sad...

I don't know whether it's me or what. But I feel sad. This aching feeling in the gut which goes right up to the throat. What's with me? another mood swing? haha.. all along I've always thought that only girls had mood swings. But it seems like i have mood swings now too. Maybe things are coming back, memories are hurting.

Flew my heli a few times today and it certainly helps to lighten my mood. I'm certainly growing up! From small little remote controlled cars to remote controlled helis. From a humble radio player, to cd player, to mp3 players. All these, however fancy and interesting cannot fill a void within me. Maybe i'm just splurging to make that pain go away. And it does help.. But only for a little while. I want something impossible now, but how to make the impossible possible? I know I can't. Yet, I still long for it. Acceptance is a way out, I know. Hmmm, I'm contradicting myself again. I feel acceptance, but at the same time, I want to relive the past. Haha hopeless...

7 swords

Wow, it was violent and i liked the fighting scenes. But other than that, there wasn't a strong plot behind this movie. No spectacular sceneries too! yea... and i got off for tml! hahaz finally have time to go do my own things.

Hmmm, perhaps things are getting better for me. The pain seems to have distanced itself quite a bit. I don't think too much now. Whatever comes, comes. Whatever goes, let it go. Acceptance can be liberating. When i accept this fact, it really makes my life easier. True, memories will always be there to bring up the past. But now, perhaps all I can think of are the wonderful memories. Yea, and I'll cherish these memories.

It's late. I should be sleeping. Wanna go out for a morning run tml. hahaz hope I'm disciplined enough to wake up early.

Monday, August 15, 2005

YES! haha my heli can fly again!

haha thks dad for getting me a new motor for my heli. I love my family alot actually. but they think i don't care, cos when i reach home i don't usually express my emotions. Well, i'm like this. i know i care. but i feel restrained when it comes to expressing my love for them. Perhaps this is also why i seem to fail at relationships. =(

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Actions vs Words

What are words if they're not backed up with actions?

I mean, I dislike people who say one thing and do another. But I equally dislike people who say something and then fail to make true their words. What is it with words that make us use it so liberally without realising the importance of what we say.

When we say something, we should do it. Haha, I admit I'm at fault too at times. But i want to change this bad habit of mine!

For eg.

"Hao! come eat your dinner! It's cold!"

"Ya OKOK! mum, wait awhile la! I using com."

Then I'll be using my com until 1hr later when I finally lift my butt off the chair.

This is minor, but it shows u what kind of a procrastinator I am! I use words to ward off my mum's incessant naggings. But that's not what my words mean to my mum. To my mum, she thinks that I'll go have my dinner soon. A bit of a betrayal of trust, don't u think.

SO people, make your words count for something. People who really care for you will be affected when you simply use words without thinking. Think about what you Will do when you say something. Words can please people. But they can hurt greatly too. =)

Created this site when I was in j2

Ajcsb SYF 2003

haha.. I guess I was pretty crazy in the past. Sigh, those were gd days of my life. These photos were taken during our Ajcsb SYF 2003. It really makes me wanna go back in time. =)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Chanced upon this controvesy - a pregnant woman ditched by bf

Tristefemme's blog

Above is the link to her blog. Please note, this is a cached page and it is not going to be updated. The woman in question has already deleted her original blog.

I have read through her blog, and from what i understand,
  1. She's a graduate from a US Uni with double degree.
  2. Her bf is a Captain in the SAF who received an SAF merit Scholarship.
  3. They had consensual sex, and she got pregnant.
  4. They were dating for about 8 months.
  5. Her bf broke up with her and told her he'll pay for child support.
  6. He no longer wanted to have anything to do with her.
People, please go to the link and read up on her blog. I pity her. Why is this guy not being responsible?? He's an army officer, what's more, he's a scholar too!

True, there might be two sides to a coin. But surely you will feel her pain when you go through her blog. It's just so painfully honest. That's my opinion. I believe her side of the story.

It makes me think about being in a relationship. You know, people usually say guys want it because it satisfy them physically. Girls, they do it out of love. How true is this? I mean, some girls like the feeling too. We're all different. It's never going to be easy to lump all guys and girls into that 1 group.

Girls can want it because of the physical aspect too. But then again, I believe most girls do it out of love. This woman is 26 yr old. Not young! She can think, she's smart. She knows what's in for her if they had sex. But why have sex with this guy who was not prepared to accept her baby? Maybe it's her ignorance. Ignorance of the fact that this guy was only playing with her.

Did the guy love her when they did it? Obviously not. He didn't accept her after she became pregnant. Why can't he accept her? He didn't want to marry her. He didn't want to marry her! If you love a person whole-heartedly, you'll obviously want to marry that person given their age of 26 -27.

This got me thinking. Temptations will arise in relationships. But are these physical desires borne out of love? Or simply out of lust? It's a difficult question, simply because we don't want or don't dare to answer it. Or it's because we're unsure of the answers ourselves. In this case, wouldn't it be wise not to engage in such activities? I don't know. It's a tough question. Humans will always be humans. We know it's wrong but we still proceed on.

What does having sex mean? How different can it be from making love? Can a mutual liking for each other justify doing it. Or must there be love before sex? Perhaps, this is down to one's moral values. There is no right or wrong. It's never black or white.

What I feel about this guy is not important. Rather, the readers should come to their own conclusion about this sad story. I'll love to hate this guy. What about you?

Engineer's Pulau Barat 15km run

just reached home, and i'm typing away. haha i'm addicted i think to my blog. anyway i chao kenged today. was supposed to run 15km.. but i went the 10km route anyway.

it was fast, cos we talked cock all the way. shows u that when ur mind is distracted enough, u can make the pain go away! =)))

hmmm cmon cmon, i'm waiting to ord.. next yr 29MAY2006! haha it's going to be the best day of my life.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Cheer UP Seraphine! =)

Hmmm I know u'll come back to read my blog again! haha blame this feeling on my ego.. anyway, As are all that should matter to you now. Afterall, how do u want to enter uni with me if u dun hav gd grades? Go get ur gd grades and we'll walk into uni tgt la ok? forget about other things now.. u said it urself ok, things will be peaceful for now.. just remember u need gd grades and that's enough to motivate u. I hope!

Can we do without this thing called Love?

What is it about love that makes us so irrational, do things we won't usually do?
What is it about love that makes us keep reliving days gone by?
What is it about love that makes us unable to forget and to blank out the past?
What is it about love that makes us wish and wish for the One to always be by your side?
What is it about love that makes us forgive and accept faults?
What is it about love that makes us want to show our best side to them?
What is it about love that makes us feel oh so jealous at the slightest chance?
What is it about love that makes us feel so contented, so blissful?
What is it about love that makes us want to care for a person forever?
What is it about love that makes us unable to let go of memories of the past?
What is it about love that makes us never give up the feeling that we could be together again?
What is it about love that makes us change our ways?

I have this many questions! Anyone wants to help me answer them?

Marina South NDP carnival

LoOk! The show begins...

Pretty Shapes n sizes...

Applause all round...

Finale... Beautiful!

These photos were taken by me during duty at marina south... It was good while it lasted.

Have u ever wished that you could watch this display of fireworks with ur loved ones? At that very moment, i wished for it. Felt a kind of emptiness within me. A feeling of detachment away from the crowd, and for that moment i was away in my own world.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

hahahah went out with wai hong e short legged

this afternoon at ard 4pm me n wai hong met in yishun park to go cycling together. i had no bike so had to go borrow one frm jw. thks dude! my fav cousin! hahaha

then we rode the whole circumference of Yishun. haha not really sure bout e circumference thing. but it sure feels lk it.. we really rode all the way until the expressway i think. then finding nth else to do.. we went back to yishun park to try the slopes. I like speeding...

ok nth really special right?? then came this joke of the yr! haha tt wai hong tried to go down this flight of stairs on his bike.. but his feet couldnt touch the stairs at all, so he sort of bumped down all the way and was not able to stop himself! heh but nth happened to him la.. just that his face came to bout .60m away frm the ground while still on his bike. cool stunt... heh I laughed out loud for the first time in months. this crazy but damn nice fren.. cool, lets do it again! haha

oh ya, we played pool too... i lost Every single game. tough luck. But i'll try again.

btw pple if u do go to marina south tml for the National Day Countdown, do give me a call! i'll try meet u pple there. but i'll be on duty so cant do much.. anyway for those ga-ga over fireworks, pls pls pls go! its 20 over minutes worth of eye poping fireworks display.. its definitely worth ur trip there. Plus i'll be there too! haha yea i know.. gary bhb.. gary show off.. no la! its my own brand of sarcasm ok.. i'm actually being humble here...

tk care pple and a very very happy Birthday to this wonderful nation.

Shit, I just remembered something. I'll be spending National Day in camp... ... bloody bloody hell sob... ...

BorinG day.. so some recollections of my jc life

Am i at home now? haha feels unreal u know. being at home is lk so blissful to me. I'm more of a homebody. This i realised only after i entered the army.

In e past, during my jc period, it was crazy. we pon school left right up down. I still rmb how in aj, we could only leave school after 1230 right? haha so me, wai hong, sihan and sometimes Hutt will go out to play. School was nv impt nor fun at tt time. Hmmm But I din forget another guy! HON BOON! he's part of our clique too but he never did pon classes at all! you hardworking ass!

oh ya back to the 1230 part, u know u cant go out b4 1230.. so what did we do? haha we went to the computer rm n surfed the net, playing games with each other online. Monopoly was a fav then! haha we'll be lk sitting opposite each other in the rm and then trying to bargain with each other to get a better trade!

i REALLY miss those days.. wow... it seems only lk yesterday when i made fun and irritated the hell out of them throughout the day.

actually me n wai hong were the worse among this grp of friends. we were forever in the comp lab.. haha whenever there were any lectures i'll say to him "wei! let's go for computing lah" haha n then usually he'll go. but sometimes i hav to drag him along too heh that guy obviously wanted to attend Proper Lectures at times. BUT it was for the pretty girls in the lecture theatre instead!

u know a lecture is pretty boring when u see heads bobbing up n down, and when this happens people start finding ways to amuse themselves. haha well, i was one of them.

wai hong was the target. heh heh.. my clique used to go swimming after lessons so we'll usually bring along our swimming stuff. heh i knew that guy brought along his sorta colorful trunks for that day... so during this particularly boring lecture, i took out his trunks and threw it to another of my fren.. HAHA! oh man, it was great! we played 'monkey' with his trunks! haha i wondered how many times his black trunks with blue, red and yellow motifs flew over his Head. all this while, the lecture was going on.. cept that pple were beginning to notice my class fooling ard at the back. =))) my idea of fun! i take full credits for the laughter we managed to generate that day!

Do i feel guilty?? haha sometimes lah. But wai hong is a great guy man. He never really gets angry thou i kept teasing him bout everything. we had great fun.. my best bud in jc.

What About GIRLS? haha i did have crushes ok! but nth seemed to work out after my brief but real sweet relationship with Anne (her nick? Anlene - Good for your bones ;> hahaz!) whom i met in nyjc when i was there for the first 3 months. haha those 3 months were havoc la, much much worse then when i was in AJC. Wont say much bout it now, but when i get into the mood.. words will spill forth frm my mouth lk the niagara falls!

Those days were actually very good. i was handsome, dashing and attracted scores of swooning girls. hahaha i told you it helps builds up my confidence!! so stop trying to figure out whether its true or not!

anyway me n my grp of 5 frens went everywhere together in jc.. we'll alert each other whenever any pretty girls walked past us ;> we were practically daring each other to confess to our crushes! sihan did confess to grace... i think so! but nth happened, sianz!

So u see.. I'm not such a boring person afterall.. its just that army made me grow up maybe just this little bit, i learnt to treasure my time at home. shopping centres, orchard rd, all these places are fun too to me. But i will still choose home over all these. Nothing beats being in the comfort of my home. =)

Friday, August 05, 2005

Singapore's NDP & a Poem

Hey guys there'll be a National Day Carnival at Marina South from tomorrow to 14th of Aug this month. And.. it concerns me! haha cos i'll be there on duty on next mon and the day after National Day.

it should be fun for u guys. hope it's fun for me too!

anyway i just want to have fun u know. forget certain things and then have fun again!

i wanna go overseas soon.. but where?? any comments?? not too faraway cos i have no money.. i'm just a poor nsf serving this nation. =(

ok suddenly i have this urge to write.. i HAVE to let it all out..


Captain of his Ship

Splashes of darkness fills my night,
as i wondered about what might be.

This inevitable feeling of helplessness,
comes when you know all is gone,
like the captain of a sinking ship.

When the cause is lost,

Do we turn back to the past?
And ignore what history has taught us?
Gone are the days when she sailed proudly as can be,
the long nights out,

in the unfeeling sea,
has made this once haughty lady,
a painful sight to bear.

Why didn't the Captain do his job?

To keep her afloat, to let her shine?
He had tried, in his own simple, soft ways.
Alas, he was only a man, with faults and all.
No matter how hard he went about fixing the holes,
He never knew what really was needed.

She was beautiful.

Smoothly cutting through the waves on the ocean,

gliding gracefully into the setting Sun,

So gracefully we never knew this would come.

The Waves lash out,
like a madman on the loose.
The Wind blew,
with a vengeance that was never seen.
What could keep this beautiful lady afloat?
The captain thought and started to panic.

Then, he realised it was no use,
she wasn't listening,
she would be gone.


Would he go down with her,
or bail out with hopes for the future?
He didn't know,
for when one comes to a crossroad,
it's never easy to choose left or right.

Then, he woke up to the Sun.

Light was breaking through the darkness that surrounded him,

giving him the warmth,

out in this lonely, cold Ocean.

Where he was stranded in,
without his lovely ship.

The Sun gave him hope,
gave him the strength to carry on.
To fight this terrible monster that came from within,

threathening to strip him of his energy,
and his Life.

With this,
the Captain tried his Best,
to escape the swirling ocean,

tossing him around like he was without weight ,

And ignoring the dreadful coldness slowly seeping into his soul.

He swam for shore.


Thank you Karin, this poem's for ya =)
Without you, i might have remained lost. But for now, with the guiding hand of our friendship, I have reached my shore. haha, you always seem to be there for me. So for any problems u have, find me!

I should add that for all those who are down, Dont despair. There are others who are worse off than you are. Don't pity them please. Go help them!! Kare and concern will only make this a better place for us.

Start with ur family and friends. You'll be surprised how much love u'll receive just by showing some care and concern.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Just came back frm camp..

i dont want to complain, but army life sucks! i get picked on, scolded for things others wouldnt be scolded for, and i get MORE duties! yea, u hav to bootlick, hav special connections or maybe be totally hardworking to have an easier time.

totally stressed out with not making any mistakes cos i know if i do, i'll get double the scolding? haha anyway, sim told me its 9 more months! haha bro, u know the casio watch i hav? i use it to count the number of DAYS left in the army man.

hmmm, guess i better live life happily, even ogres (SHREK) can live happily ever after so why not me?? i lk shrek, he's ugly, smelly and he doesnt give 2 hoot bout pple ard him. haha but he found fiona after all right? such a sweet story... of cos im not lk shrek, im the opposite of him! handsome, sweet smelling and im such a considerate fellow..

erm.. such proclamations Do help raise my morale u know... so bear with me.. heh

hmmm ying knows bout my blog now, so i guess she'll read it religiously evryday? haha i wish. anyway, i read her blog and that guy that gave her a birthday surprise really surprised me too.. good to know that the guy is serious bout her.. well, as jealous as i Might be, gotta admit he's 1 notch higher up in the romantic quotient as compared to yours truly. =(


its OK. I'm Fine. haha really... life goes on, girls come and go... though not as easily as i wish. ;) army life restricts ur social activity. I burn on average 2 to 3 weekends a month ok. what's burn?? it means i hav duties on weekends! cool right? staying in camp on a bright sunny sat or sunday morn! makes my heart so warm, so nice... NOT!

hmmm, ok gotta mention a special fren of mine. And that's Karin =) haha i feel she's a strong person on the outside.. but inside, well she's lk all other girls. and some 'soft' guys too. she's caring, pretty, smart and nice haha.. oh i see some fingers pointing... but No, I'm not in love with this lass. she's a special fren thats all =))

oh another lady im proud to introduce here is the 24/7 mouth-cant-stop-talking Charlene.. heh well, she's not as cute as charlene choi.. but shes somewhere there la. always noisy, a little ignorant of certain facts in life.. haha she knows what i mean.. look she's up there in my blog.. her makeover photo! but erm haha i don't see much difference. okok, maybe a little improvement here and there.. i just dont wanna get beaten up.

life aint gd at the moment, but i'll learn and learn and learn how to let go, to know what's really true love and of cos to cherish those beside me now. u really never never know what might happen in the future. as for me, 1 thing i'm gonna start doing now is not to tell lies if i can help it. haha im a lousy liar u know, but some of my lies are passable. but what i want now is no more lies for me! as for my close frens i dun want lies too ok? promise me tt, and i'll be a happy man..

jokes aside lets pray for zero terrorist incidents in singapore.. cmon, cmon, better pray. i might be one of the first few to go if such a thing happen. afterall im in the EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) unit. haha sad but true.. pray for singapore's safety then!